Bad writing collection: League of Legends
by Hikari Murasaki
Summary: A collection of bad writing for LOL. Look out for: unoriginal ideas, manufactured conflicts, tons of conversations, poor attempts at humor, several grammatical and vocabulary mistakes and crappy fight scenes. Also, walls of text.
1. How Vlad and Lulu might (not) have met

**How Lulu and Vlad might (not) have met**

Vladimir took a whole minute staring at the thing which just collided against his leg, with a gaze he deemed politely curious.

The creature stared back with outright curiosity and excitement.

It seemed to be a yordle, yet it had furry ears – he'd not seen a yordle with furry ears for quite a while. It had purple hair and big green eyes. One could see energy and enthusiasm flooding this creature, although there was something in those eyes that seemed awfully like wisdom. Vladimir was not sure.

The way it dressed was strange – why would anyone don such a ridiculous hat (which fell off when the yordle ran into him)? No wonder she was running into people. She was holding a wand, too – a mage? He'd not known many yordle mage – scratch that, he knew _one_. And if you thought mages were weird, yordles would take it to a new level (though to be honest, it was not his fault).

Then the yordle blinked, its mouth widening into an adorable grin.

Vladimir smiled faintly despite himself.

'Hi there!' said the yordle.

'Hello,' said Vladimir politely.

A little more staring, then…

'You're not from here, are you?'

'No,'

'Hmm, where you're from?'

'Noxus,'

'Noxus? What kind of a place is Noxus?'

'It's a… dark place.'

They stared at each other again, and Vladimir felt an odd sense of… serenity.

'You know, it's really hard if you just keep answering with monosyllables,' said Lulu, slightly raising her voice.

Apparently not even acknowledging the fact she just crashed into him, eh?

'Well, what else would you have me say?' he asked in an amused tone.

'Well, you could have answered "No, I'm from Noxus; it's a dark place" in one sentence! You just have to have me ask, don't you?'

'Stranger danger, my dear. It's not the best bet telling off all information in one go.'

'Well, you told me anyway, so what's the deal, eh?'

Fair enough

'I didn't think you'd be interested.'

'I asked! Of course I'm interested!'

Vladimir laughed – how interestingly naïve. Not stupid, just strangely naïve…

'Fair point,' he stated 'do yordles nowadays still have furry ears?'

The girl's ears wiggled in response

'Don't think so, but I have them. I'm not exactly from around here.'

Vladimir sat down a nearby rock, picking the fallen hat and handed it to her.

'Oh, you're not from Bandle City?'

'Not _this_ Bandle, but the other Bandle from a long time ago.'

That wasn't exactly transparent.

'I'm Lulu,' the girl beamed 'pleased to meet you.'

She offered him a hand – small, human-like, looking pretty soft, with the widest smile possible.

'Vladimir,' he said, gently shaking the tiny hand, careful not to let the claws wound the girl 'it's my pleasure, Lulu.'

'Oh, and this is my friend, Pix!'

Something glittering caught his eyes, and he realized it was a fae. A fae.

What the hell was a fae doing outside the Glade?

'You have a fae friend?' he asked.

'Yah, Pix is really cool and he teaches me magic!' she demonstrated this by shooting out some pink, glittering lances of energy.

He eyed the fae again. No wonder this girl seemed abnormal. People who mingled with the fae folk, rare as they were, often turned out kind of abnormal. Fae sees things too differently from humans and yordles.

'Okay,' said Vladimir with a smile 'nice to meet you, Pix.'

'Likewise, human,' a strange inhuman voice intoned. Must be the fae

'So… what are you doing here, Mr. Vlad?'

Mr. Vlad?

He didn't really mind nicknames, really, but nickname _plus_ the Mr. prefix? That was a first. It sounded nice, however.

Vladimir stared into those expectant, excited green eyes again – joyful, innocent… and yet he felt he was being assessed. This girl was evaluating him, seeing if he was "worthy", in her world. And behind that all, was a touch of wariness.

He didn't know what came over him - he just didn't want to make this girl sad. Besides, there was more to this girl than he realized.

'I'm travelling,' he answered sincerely 'When I'm bored with _things_ in Noxus, I travel to new places. I find it pretty relaxing,' and exhilarating as well, if he might add 'it's my first time going to Bandle City. It is a nice, cozy town.'

Lulu – that was the yordle's name – took a big gasp, her eyes widened in sheer joy

'Wow, no one had answered my questions like that before!' she exclaimed happily.

That must be a good thing, then.

'Is that so?' asked Vladimir 'why would that be? You're an adorable young girl.'

'Well… the people at Bandle didn't seem to think so…' her voice turned sad 'I only wanted to play with everyone, but everyone didn't want to. They wanted me to leave, so I'm leaving.'

'Why? Did you do something wrong?'

'I don't think so. I only wanted to have fun, so I turned some of them into flowers and squirrels,' she giggled 'it was wizard! But their parents didn't want that.'

A- that was some strange notion of fun (not that Vladimir wouldn't have found that hilarious) and B- that was some pretty advanced transformation technique. Lulu was much more powerful than he thought.

'Well, best not to do that if they don't want it.'

'But otherwise it's _boring!_ You know, most people aren't half as interesting as a _tulip._ '

'From a certain point of view,'

'Oh no, you are interesting alright! And you are also nice, too.'

Nice

He was called "nice".

He, Vladimir, the Hemomancer, a homicidal blood mage, was called "nice".

And why wouldn't she? He mused. Despite all of his bloodlust and homicidal tendencies, he'd been friendly to Lulu. He'd spoken to her and shared her problems, something others must have failed to do (somewhat unwillingly willingly). It was only normal she'd find his presence welcoming.

Right?

'Lulu,' he began 'I think… we all have the right to be weird. I am not exactly normal folk, too,' fairly speaking, he could not even pin "normal" on any of his fellow Noxians 'but you don't have to turn away because of it. There will always be people who can understand and appreciate your good will. If you would only talk to others like you talked to me, then…'

'But they wouldn't want to hear me. They'd be pitiful that I'm sad…'

'Are you sad?'

Lulu nodded.

Vladimir smiled gently

'Now, now,' he patted her head softly 'you are an adorable young girl. Have faith in yourself. People will understand. Smile, little devil.'

Lulu giggled softly

'Little devil,' she mused 'I like that.'

* * *

Still…

'Are you following me, Lulu?'

The yordle shuffled, giving a nod.

'You are still gonna leave after all?'

She shrugged

'This is the way back.'

Ah dang

'Ah, so you're only coming back to Bandle.'

'Nah, I'm _following_ you back,' Lulu replied with a grin.

Ah, exhilarating indeed.

Well, if she'd insisted.

'Lulu, how did you meet Pix?'

'I was playing in the woods when he appeared. He said I was special. Pix is really nice, and he knows a lot. He also took me to his home.'

Wait up…

'You entered the Glade?'

'Yup!'

If he wasn't mistaken, time flows differently in the Glade. Time there was as whimsy as the nature of the fae.

Suddenly, Lulu words made sense. She was not from this Bandle City, but the Bandle City from another time in the past. Her time had went by while Lulu was still in the Glade. Now, she was alone in the world…

Alone…

Her joyful attitude suddenly seemed so incredible.

'I'm… sorry,' he spoke

'Huh, why?'

'Well… you've lost your world, your parents and friends. It's really… hard, to think about.' _How could you be so happy all the time, when this happened to you?_

'Well, nothing can be done about it right now. Things happen, you know. I can still make friends here. In fact, I've already made one.'

She smiled at him meaningfully

'Am I… your friend?'

'Yup, silly!' she poked at him with the wand 'you just have to ask, don't you?'

Vladimir smiled, again. No one had called him "silly", ever. Well, there was always a first time for everything.

* * *

Vladimir had taken his time trolling back leisurely with Lulu's company. The girl was a chatter box. She'd talked about several things, from plants to critters to sweets to magic. In each subject he'd humored her enthusiasm sincerely. He learned she liked tulips, adored squirrels, preferred chocolate sweets and she could change things into adorable things. In return, he'd shared his preferences: roses, cats, almond tuiles and blood.

'Blood magic? What do you do with blood magic?'

He could see the fae hovering above her.

'Just casual stuffs,' he replied 'I can control blood, turning it into weapons. I can also change my blood type – I am a universal recipient.'

'Does that mean you can donate blood to everybody?'

'No, it means I can _take_ it from everybody. Still, I can transfer blood to other beings as well.'

'Wow, that's incredible! You save lives, don't you?'

'I certainly can, but…' _I don't. Never had a reason to_

'Well, I can trust you to save me, can't I?'

Err, well, that…

'Lulu, where have you been?!' someone shouted.

There was a big boom, and Tristana landed down next to them, cracking the ground with her fall. Vladimir winced

'Hey, keep it down.'

'Vladimir!' the newcomer startled. She quickly stood between the other two, cannon aimed at the blood mage 'Lulu, stay back!'

Vladimir raised his hands, smiling mockingly

'Trist, it's alright! Mr. Vlad is very nice, he does not hurt me!' said Lulu, drawing Tristana's aim back.

He could see the yordle gunner's astonishment at "Mr. Vlad".

'Lulu, this guy is a dangerous blood mage. I don't know what he did…'

'He did nothing wrong! We only talked. He _listened_ to me. I trust him.'

Tristana looked at the blood mage in disbelief. Vladimir only shrugged. Believe what you want to believe in. Maybe that was for the best.

'Please, Trist! Mr. Vlad is a friend.'

The Gunner sighed, giving in. She lowered her gun.

'Lulu, don't run off like that again. I was worried something happened. And what are _you_ doing here?'

'Visiting,' answered Vladimir.

'Oh he likes to travel,' Lulu recounted 'just like me! I like exploring, too!'

Then, her tone changed

'I thought you wanted me to leave.'

Tristana's gaze was still wary at Vladimir

'Oh, that,' said Trist 'they were just too scared of their child's safety, they didn't mean to be mean. I'm sure it's a misunderstanding.'

'You were worried?'

'Of course we were! You're one of us. We don't abandon any yordle.'

'But… I made you unhappy…'

'Lulu, it's just a prank. Some people can't take a prank,' said Tristana, smiling 'You only wanted them to have fun, right?'

Lulu nodded

'It's alright, then. You are one of us, and we stick together. If anything happens, you can talk to me.'

'Thank you, Trist!' Lulu cried out happily, tackling the Bandle Gunner in a hug.

'Hey there, Lulu,' Tristana laughed 'it's going to get dark. Let's go back.'

'Wait up,' said Lulu, 'you can come back before me. I said I was following Mr. Vlad.'

'Lulu…,' Tristana began 'Vladimir isn't…'

'It's alright,' Vladimir interrupted her 'I'll tell her.'

Tristana looked at him for a moment before consenting. With a loud noise, she took off again.

The forest around them was suddenly too quiet.

'I won't turn people into things anymore. If they're not happy, then it's not fun,' said Lulu 'you wanted to tell me something?'

'Lulu, I'm not a nice person,' he said quickly. Why was he hesitant? Did he truly like this girl's company that much? 'I'm a murderer, an unrepentant killer. My blood magic, it's for killing people. You should not… be close to me.'

The girl was still unfazed. She looked at him with a straight face and kind eyes – how she seemed so wise beyond her age.

'Why do you do that?'

'Because I must.'

'So you don't have a choice.'

'No. It's who I am – it's _what_ I am. I can't stop it. I must kill.'

Then Lulu did what he did not expect her to do at all. She laughed

'I see. Then that's okay.'

'What?'

'I said it's okay. Sometimes it can't be helped. If it's you then it has to be. But that doesn't mean you are not a nice person. You don't know that yet.'

'Lulu, I hurt people. I killed people for enjoyment… I can hurt you.'

'But you won't, will you?' asked Lulu with a trustful smile 'you don't have to answer that, I know you won't.'

Indeed, he wouldn't.

'I trust you, Mr. Vlad. Would you trust me too?'

Vladimir smiled

'I will, little devil. Satisfied?'

'For now,' Lulu grinned 'will you be around?'

'When I can, I'll drop by. Don't worry, I have plenty of time.'

'That's wizard!' said Lulu 'we should hurry, it's getting dark quickly.'

Vladimir laughed, striding to match the yordle's joyful skips.

He had another friend (other than Elise). He had another friend.

'By the way, Lulu,' he said casually 'I can also tell jokes.'

END.

I find the lack of blood jokes disturbing.

Bonasu Shiin:

'Lulu! You're safe!' said Tristana when the yordle finally returned 'Did he do anything?'

'Come on, Trist, don't be negative. That's not my type!'

Tristana and Teemo froze.

 _Shit._


	2. Zed's snow day

**Zed's snow day**

Zed is extremely lazy on snow day because he has the right to be!

(a.k.a Zed's answer to the question if you'd want education over a warm, cozy stay at home. Hint: it's exactly what you think.)

Set before the fall of the old Kinkou Order.

Characters: not yet Shadowy preteen Zed, not yet Eye of Twilight preteen Shen and Shen's Dad.

Warning: excessive swearing because the cold deserves all.

* * *

It was freaking freezing.

Who on Valoran thought winter was a good idea again?

That day, like any other winter day ever, Zed woke up to a chilling freeze. As usual, this was what he said

"Fuck,"

Zed hated winter with a passion.

He deliberately ignored many of the winter training sessions, because why the hell not? No one would know where he went, or care where he went, he'd concluded. Not when, they too, were freezing outside the cold.

So, the future Master of Shadows shut his door tightly and went off to procure some firewood.

* * *

"Where's Zed?" the then Master of the Order and Eye of Twilight asked.

His students' responses came shivering

"Who knows where he went?"

"It's really cold over here!"

"Can we just get it over with?"

It seemed like Zed wasn't alone.

The then Eye of Twilight sighed. Zed was always an avid learner, even if he appeared lazy at times, and was a pleasure to teach. Except on snow days. The Grand Master never failed to realize that the boy would always play truant on winter trainings. He doubted Zed ever attended _once._

"Come now, ninjas, winter shouldn't scare you."

"Except when we're frozen. Please, can we not screw Zed and get on with it?"

"A true ninja is unfazed by all conditions. You must all embrace them and turn them into your allies."

"Well, you can't be fazed if you're frozen to death." Someone said, and there were some giggles.

The Master sighed again. Zed wasn't alone on hating winter, anyhow. The thing was, even he himself never succeeded in finding out where the boy went (because he had to host the class). Zed was too slippery for the average student to find.

"I'll get Zed," Shen spoke up.

The Master looked at his son

"You know where he is?"

Shen shrugged

"No, but he's probably locking himself inside some room. I can find him."

"Alright," he consented "do tell him he had detention to attend."

* * *

It took Shen half an hour rummaging through the Temple before finding Zed at one of the attics, with several coal stoves littering the floor.

Zed was not amused.

"Shut the damn door, Shen. You are letting the cold air in." the ninja complained, pointing a kitchen knife at Shen.

Curiosity took over Shen and he asked

"What are you doing?"

Zed grunted "Cooking oden, of course."

Indeed, he was dicing some fishcakes, and there was a big pot set on top of a stove.

"Oden?"

"Yes, oden. Problem?"

"You're skipping training."

Zed gave him a "oh really?" stare of contempt.

"You can guess why."

"You're not supposed to skip training."

"It's _fucking snowing_ outside, what training do you want to do?"

"Snow training?"

Zed peeked out of one of the nearest window and scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Eh, no!" he slammed it shut "it's cold as fuck outside, why would anyone want to do training there? Answer: that's not me."

"Zed…"

"I mean, would any fool want to freeze over in this weather? Why can't everyone stay at home and have a fucking break?"

Shen raised an eyebrow

"You are not afraid of the cold, are you?"

"Of course I am, you idiot! You can't do shit when you freeze over!"

Shen laughed. It was rare for Zed to admit fear for anything.

"That is why we do winter training: so that you'd know what to do when you have to battle in the snow…"

"That's the fucking point! Why would anyone want to battle in the snow?! Heat I can deal with, not clattering my teeth and freezing my muscles fighting someone!"

"By utilizing your ki, you can resist most weather's conditions…"

"And why would I want to do that? You're fucking dense, you know that?"

"What if you're stuck in a sticky in situation, like in Freljord?"

"Why in Valoran would I come to Freljord?" Zed deadpanned.

"Or other emergencies possible…"

"Well there will be no _emergencies_ if I stay indoors in the first place! Are you an idiot?"

Shen sighed

"So you are not going, then?"

"No. Damn it, Shen, shut the door!"

"You know, the Master says you are in for some detention."

"Yeah," said Zed drily "see you all when winter ends. Why can't we all be bears – sleeping peacefully throughout the winter?"

They stayed silent for a few minutes, with Shen staring at Zed and Zed paying Shen no mind. The future Master of Shadows was putting finishing touches on his oden.

Reluctantly, Shen began to see Zed had a point. The room was comfortably warm. Zed must have put quite a lot of effort in arranging the stoves the most efficient way – he would be a genius if he'd put in the efforts. Plus, Shen was feeling rather hungry…

No! He could not indulge himself like Zed was doing.

 _But that oden smells nice,_ his inner voice suggested.

While Shen was fighting his inner battle if he should ditch training or drag Zed back with him (the latter almost sounded improbable at that point), the latter had already finished the meal and was pouring it out.

"Here," said Zed, offering him a rather generous portion of his freshly cooked oden.

Shen blinked "What?"

"Your oden. You came, anyway. You're ditching training too, aren't you?"

"Really, Zed?" Shen crossed his arms "why would I inquire you to come back to class then?"

"Isn't that just an excuse to skip training or something? No? Well, you're boring, as usual," Zed rolled his eyes. He didn't withdraw the bowl, however "you are gonna ditch, anyway."

"Am I?"

"Come now," Zed began grinning mischievously "give into temptation, Shen. It's warm and cozy in here, and I've got food. You won't find a better oden anywhere else."

Shen smirked

"Bragging, as usual, huh?"

"Pff, you'll see I'm not wrong, at all. Are you taking it or not, idiot?"

Zed was smiling his pleading smile at him, the oden bowl still in his hand. It was times like these that he was as persistent (and adorable) as a child.

Shen glanced out the snow outside and shrugged.

"Yeah, screw it," said Shen, taking the oden bowl. It _was_ freezing outside, and Zed got food.

Zed couldn't have looked smugger.

* * *

"So… this is what you do every winter ever. Sneaking up to an attic and eating oden all day long?" Shen asked as the Oden was halved.

"Well, not _only_ oden, but it is a favorite. I also have mitarashii dango ready to be cooked." Zed said, taking in a mouthful

"Where did you get the ingredients?"

"Borrowed some from the kitchen," Zed smirked "no one ever noticed anything."

"It's not "borrow" if you can't give it back."

"Jeez, Shen, you're boring."

Shen smiled

"I never knew you cooked."

"Well, I've come to realize that practically no one in the whole Kinkou Order is a rational human being. So, I have to provide myself with comfort food. Necessary skill to survive,"

"But you just stay indoors and _eat._ Doing nothing and eat is not a bright idea."

"Hey, you're eating too, so stop complaining."

"Only because a persistent someone so insisted,"

"You can't blame me for your doing what you wanted to do. That's called hypocrisy."

Zed took another bowl of oden.

"Normally… you eat a whole pot of oden?"

"Yeah,"

"Everyday in winter…"

"Uh, huh,"

"Wow, I'm not even critical, that's amazing. How are you not fat and ugly now?"

Zed looked at him

"Trade secret, sorry," he smirked "you can finish the rest. I'll go boil the dango."

"Uhm, no. I can't eat anymore."

"Of course you can."

"I've eaten two bowls already!"

"And I've eaten three times that amount! You lack faith, Shen. If you believe you can, you can."

Shen almost groaned as he poured the last of the oden in his bowl.

"You know, you're right at one thing, Zed."

"Oh? I'm right? Once in a millennium!"

Shen ignored Zed's dramatic flourish.

"This _is_ indeed the best oden I've ever eaten."

He didn't even mind Zed's smugness at the compliment. If there was something he could never compete with Zed, it was cooking. Especially cooking oden. The guy deserved every praise in the world.

* * *

The Grand Master sighed. This would be the worst winter training he'd ever held. After 30 minutes Shen didn't return, his students began protesting the training. It was subzero, after all, and if two of the best students (scratch that, two best students) didn't want to go, then you'd bet the others would use the opportunity.

In the end, he had to dismiss the class, since unhappy students and an upcoming blizzard would be hazardous. He was quite surprised that Shen chose to skip, and had embarked on a mission to find and chide his son.

When he finally managed to find them, though, he couldn't bring himself to scold either of them.

The two boys were sitting in a kotatsu, roasting dango together while playing go. The room was pleasantly warm. An empty pot and two bowls lay in the corner. Zed was happily chewing on a skewer of mitarashii dango while Shen was making his next move. They seemed peacefully content in each other's company.

"I win," Shen declared.

Zed made a disappointed noise, but he was smiling, and took another skewer of dango, pouring soy syrup over it.

The then Eye of Twilight smiled softly to himself. He could let this go. They were yet the protectors of Balance. After all, they were just children. And as all children, they deserved having some mischievous fun and getting away with it.

So he left the warm attic to the two boys to have their own fun as Zed called for another game.

END.

Warm stay-at-home 2 - 0 Education! Even Shen approved.

This little piece was written because I detest the cold, and at the time it was cold as fuck (it doesn't snow in my country, but since it's humid and raining it's even worse). Getting out of bed in the morning for school was ten times more mentally and physically challenging.

I totally call grumpy, oden-eating Zed on cold days legit. Everyone has the right to hate the cold, even the future Master of Shadows.


	3. The Zed lost his Shadow Arc

**The Zed lost his Shadow arc**

Plot: Zed somehow ended up losing his Shadow. I have no idea how.

Written in the event of Jhin's reveal (before his lore is released, so there are inconsistencies).

Characters: Zed, Vlad, Lulu, Sona (cameo), Jhin.

* * *

"Hmm, did you hear that, Lulu?" asked Vladimir as he heard a thumping noise.

Lulu pursed her lips

"Yeah,"

"Something's wrong?"

"Yeah," said Lulu. She began gliding on her wand, with Vladimir following short. In his opinion, getting lost in the woods was not a good idea, but he trusted in Lulu's sense of direction. Believe it or not, _Lulu does not get lost._

After five minutes Lulu stopped. Vladimir glanced around. Trees were cut down, knife marks across their bodies. Some shurikens were scattered about.

"Oh dear," said Vlad "what is an Ionian doing here?"

"Something is wrong." Lulu affirmed.

"I'll look for a vital sign," said the Hemomancer. He could detect a faint sign of life just around that bush.

Vladimir carefully made his approach. After confirming what was there, he sighed in defeat.

"Lulu," he called, and not waiting for the yordle's reply, he said "we have a situation."

* * *

Vladimir hauled off the ninja's body down his bed.

"So let me get this straight," he began "you want me to house Zed, the Master of the freaking Order of Shadows, treat his wounds in the heart of Noxus, ignoring any implications and danger his appearance here may produce or even the fact that my life can be endangered?"

Lulu smiled apologetically

"Other than the last part, yeah. Mr. Zed won't hurt you if he knows you helped him."

"What I know about him suggests otherwise. As far as I'm concerned, this man detests weakness. Guess what he'd do if he'd gained yet another witness."

"He won't. I know he won't."

Vladimir sighed "I don't trust Ionians, you know."

"It's not as if you trust everyone," Lulu shot back.

"No, that is unwise," Vladimir agreed "what I'm trying to say is, I don't trust _him_. By the way, if you know any other scary people who might show up unconscious around Noxus I'd really appreciate a list."

The yordle laughed "Telling the truth, I did not expect this."

"Well, I'd better get started. Honestly though, I'm more wary of whoever did this to him," said the Hemomancer "do you or Pix have any idea who he is?"

"No idea," said Lulu "and I don't like this anymore than you do."

"Wonderful,"

* * *

Zed slowly opened his eyes.

He'd been defeated. He'd shown weakness.

His temper flared. He was too weak. Weakness could not be accepted.

But where was he?

The Master of Shadows was aware (somehow) all of his wounds were fully healed, and he could move his limbs with a little difficulty. He was lying in a non-Ionian styled bedroom decorated in red…

"Oh, you are awake," an aloof voice greeted him.

His gaze snapped to the newcomer. The tall man had white hair, pale skin and sharp silver eyes. He was smirking.

"Vladimir," Zed growled.

"Afternoon," said the mage "water? Food?"

All the blood mage got in return was a glare.

"Come now, why are all Ionians so dead on humorless?" Vladimir complained, setting a tray down the left nightstand. There was a glass of water and a bowl of steaming congee "I don't poison food. That is an underhanded tactic."

"Why am I here?"

"Ah," Vladimir drew a chair and sat down next to the bed "shouldn't I be the one to ask that question?"

He got yet another glare

"Long story short, you were injured, Lulu and I found you, she talked me into healing you, boom. Are you sure you don't want some food? Your blood is lacking nutrition."

"You can heal," was the first thing that came to his mind. Not the greatest reaction, but hardly unjustified; homicidal blood magic was not equal to healing capabilities in his book.

"Yes. I can control the substance running through you, in whatever way possible." Vladimir replied patiently.

Zed looked at the mage again. He looked smaller and less intimidating without the large red coat and the claws, yet Zed did not doubt the power was still there. He even thought that this smiling politely Vladimir was twice as dangerous.

"You know, you're really formidable. Your pulse did not even flinch even when you are feeling threatened," Vladimir remarked.

"I'm not feeling threatened."

"Suit yourself," he shrugged "I do suggest you eat, though. You are seriously calling for some calories."

Zed grumbled, but he gave in. He was hungry, he'd give Vladimir that. And that congee smelled delicious.

* * *

"So, any idea who your assailant was?" asked Vladimir after the assassin finished his meal.

Zed frowned

"I'm not sure. It was an ambush. I was caught off-guarded. But I'm sure I've never seen that sort of power before. He was using some sort of magical gun."

"Hextech," Vladimir fixed "or Techmaturgy, if you prefer. Why were you in Noxus in the first place?"

"I got a note. It told me to come here."

"What? And you decided to do what it said?"

"I was unaware the note was slipped in. You will understand if I find it highly alarming."

"Someone outdo you, and you think it's a good idea to give in? Okay, if I were you, I'd never have taken such an obvious trap."

Zed ignored the remark "You said Lulu wanted you to help me."

"Yes. She had to leave, unfortunately, and was sorry she couldn't attend to you. Apparently she was befriending you as well, huh?"

"Sort of. She just can't be turned away."

"I know that feeling, man." Vladimir's smile implied something – he just couldn't figure out what in this state "your weapons are in the living room. I'm taking your suit to the laundry, so you're wearing my shirt. Don't worry - no striped pants."

"You… undressed me?"

Vladimir burst out cackling

"Are you the Master of being insecure?"

"Shut up!" said Zed, regretting his stupid words immediately. Of course he'd have to do that. It was just that… he'd not been _taken care of_ in a long time.

Vladimir shrugged (what an easy going guy)

"The living room is downstairs. Turn left. I'll be cleaning the dishes. If you feel up to it, I mean."

"I can walk, thank you" said Zed sarcastically.

* * *

Vladimir was already in the living room with a glass of wine and a book when Zed entered.

"Wine?" the mage asked.

"I don't drink."

"Oh."

"Alcohol deludes one's mind."

"Ah," Vladimir said thoughtfully "you Ionians are dull, as always."

"Don't _you_ get drunk?"

"If I so choose."

Zed picked up his blades from the table. He frowned. The blade felt somewhat strange to his clutch. Normally a rush of excitement would accompany carrying them – and yet…

As if noticing is uneasiness, Vladimir asked

"Is there something wrong?"

"Do you often read people like that?" asked Zed.

"One's blood does not lie. I can even tell the slightest change. You are a tricky one, however. Throughout your whole time awake your pulse stays unnaturally even. The mask may have helped with the facial expressions. Yet I reckon if someone like you makes a facial expression, something serious is happening."

"You are a handful with words," said Zed with half a smile "where's my mask?"

"Ah. That. It was gone."

"Whatever do you mean?"

"You weren't wearing it when I found you. I'd assume the assailant had taken it."

Something was wrong about all of this.

He checked the blades again.

"Just so you know, the bill is on you if you lash out on any of my furniture,' said Vladimir "please, keep it down. Noxians are enough destruction of property any day."

Zed couldn't help a chuckle

"You're pretty funny, you know that?"

"Of course. Thanks for the compliment, anyhow. Is there anything I may do to assist you?"

"Is there anything I may do to assist you?" was a question he'd not heard in quite a while. He should have felt indignant that he was offered help (but that could be for later). Then, he only felt curious.

"Why are you helping me?"

"As I've said, Lulu asked me to help you. And she's my friend. I will do what I can to make her happy."

"Your… friend?"

"Yes, my friend," said Vladimir with a pleasant smile. Zed forcefully reminded himself this man was an unrepentant killer with an innate bloodlust. He was not supposed to be a nice, yordle-loving man.

And yet, Vladimir didn't seem to lie.

"Thank you, I guess," said Zed carefully.

"You're welcome, Master of Shadows. If you can already walk without any issues, you may want to accompany me to where you were found unconscious. Maybe it would give you some clue?"

Good idea.

"Alright, sounds like a plan. But first, I need to change out of this… aristocratic clothing. How's the laundry going?"

* * *

It turned out that Vladimir didn't do his own laundry, which is understandable enough, and had a laundry service catering to him weekly. The clothes and Zed's suit would not be available in a day. The blood mage said that one of his acquaintances introduced him to a new Piltoverian invention named "washing machine", which (surprise!) washed clothes automatically, and that he was planning to purchase this appliance when it was produced commercially. Then, he'd be able to watch over his own laundry.

"It's really surprising sometimes what those hextech geniuses can do, even though mostly they make no sense."

Zed shrugged. Ionians weren't so well versed in technology anyhow.

"So I have to wear this?"

"I hope it's not too uncomfortable. I picked clothes which I find least inhibiting physical movements."

"Yeah, it just feels strange. You seem to like doing things by yourself."

"I like cooking, books and wine. That's all there is, I guess. Turn right here."

They'd walked close to the border of the city when there was a yell.

"What the…"

"It seems like there was a robbery. I can sense a lot of blood," Vladimir observed "There are five of them, armed, heading our way. Seems like there were casualties…"

"Do things like this happen everyday?"

"Noxus is a lively place," Vladimir smirked "oh, there you are!" he exclaimed, to the group of robbers which just showed up "Stealing isn't nice, you know."

"This is Noxus! We're stronger, we take! Don't you dare stand in our way!"

"You are not strong, my dear. You steal, and that makes you a coward."

"You want to die, don't you?"

Zed hissed "and do you often challenge thieves and robbers like this?"

"If they run into me, yes,' Vladimir smiled amiably "as I've told you, I dislike underhanded tactics. That includes stealing."

The first thief charged their way was met with a swift kick from the Master of Shadows. In a split second, he was disarmed and lethally stabbed in the neck.

"If you would,' said Vladimir.

The others began closing in, weapons ready. Zed smirked. It wouldn't have wasted him over two seconds. He unleashed his blade and took down one, dodged the second's blade and called upon his shadows to evade the third.

The wrongness returned.

He couldn't summon his shadows.

Zed reacted in time too late and was kicked in the shin, but he held his ground and retaliated. He didn't need shadows to handle these imbeciles.

He didn't notice throwing knives headed his way until Vladimir intervened. Immediately, crimson liquid flushed from the two robbers in time to block the projectiles.

"You are distracted." Vladimir stated. He approached the knife thrower, who now cowered in fear "now, what do I do with you?"

"No, please!"

"The strong shall live, you said. Shall we rectify that?"

Zed didn't fail to notice how Vladimir genuinely enjoyed killing, as if it was a natural urge. The way the man's pupils dilated; how he looked at the blood gushing out of his victims… it spoke of satisfaction. This man craved to see blood spilled.

Vladimir turned around, smiling politely again.

"Oh hey, sorry for the mess. It happens, sometimes. But what is wrong with you? These robbers shouldn't have been able to touch a strand of your hair."

Zed frowned "I can't summon my shadows."

"You _what?_ "

"You heard me perfectly, and I don't like repeating."

"I see," said the Hemomancer "that was what was bothering you. Do you think it was the attacker?"

"I'm pretty sure it was," said Zed "I just don't know how."

"I think I do," said Vladimir "your shadow is _literally_ gone."

The assassin took a deep breath after looking at his feet. He hissed "Shit."

The day could not have gotten any weirder.

* * *

"This is where we found you," said Vladimir, showing the assassin the battle field "ringing any bell?"

"I don't have amnesia, so no." Zed said. He looked down the ground, still troubled by the lack of a shadow under his feet. What was he, Peter Pan?

"This ammunition is strange. Very strange," Vladimir commented "I've never seen anything like this."

"Careful! There are traps around!" Zed warned.

"Traps? No wonder you were outmatched."

"Yeah. He can bind people who step on his traps with a pinkish stroke of power."

"Hmm, most intriguing. _They_ also didn't recognize him."

" _They?"_

"The former Hemomancers," Vladimir explained absentmindedly "it seems this guy is a rising star."

Right, the Hemomancer was actually a collection identities, Zed noted.

"What does he do? Stealing people's powers?"

"Maybe not for his usage, but apparently he did. He seems powerful enough on his own."

"Whatever his purpose, I need my shadow back."

"Right," Vladimir concurred "have you managed to spill his blood?"

"No, of course he's not dead yet!"

"No, I mean, did you make him bleed?"

"Oh," said Zed "I did."

"Can I see it?"

The assassin handed him the blade. He could still make out the faint blood stain on the metal edge – red. Whatever it was, it was a man. He could handle a man.

Vladimir seemed to be taking sniffs out of the blade

"Hey, you're not gonna taste that, are you?"

"Of course not," said Vladimir, looking at him strangely. The blood stain suddenly liquidized and rolled off the blade in a drop "this is good enough a sample. I will conduct a scan to find the person with this blood in their veins. If you'd wait just a moment…"

* * *

"I got the location," Vladimir announced. The Hemomancer had been in sort of a trance, Zed guessed, some kind of blood clairvoyance. It seemed to have done the job "it's within Demacia territory though. We have some walking to do."

"Demacia? How did he travel so fast?"

"Not exactly 'too fast', you've been unconscious for about a day."

"A day?" Zed exclaimed.

The mage shrugged "a lesser man shouldn't have been able to stand for a week. You are sure a sturdy one."

"Well that comes with the line of work," said Zed drily "give me the exact location. I'll come looking for him…"

"Wow there, hold the freaking phone…"

"Phone?"

"Seriously, you don't know what a phone is? Anyhow, you're not going alone, unless you want to die and stuff."

"Last time I was careless. I know what he can do now. This is my personal matter. I will deal with it accordingly."

"You're walking into his territory _without your powers,_ may I remind you? Are you obstinate or are you stupid?"

"Then what do I do? Asking for help?" Zed retorted before he knew it. He did not intend to say that, but it rang true nevertheless. No one would want to help him.

Except the mage before him didn't have the same idea

"Uh, you're truly dense, aren't you? What've I been doing for the past two days again?"

"What? Because Lulu wanted you to?"

"Because you are an important friend to Lulu, and she is an important friend of mine," said Vladimir in an understanding tone "Zed, it takes a lot of strength to admit you are vulnerable. And I know you hate being vulnerable. But now is the time you are, and you have to cope up with it. You lost your power. You cooperate with someone to get it back. It's simple as that."

 _I wished it was that simple._

"I guess," Zed breathed. He needed control. Vladimir was still right, practically without his shadows, he would stand no chance against this assailant. He needed back up. And a Hemomancer didn't sound too bad "did you say Demacia?"

"Yes, I did. And he was being quite open as well, walking around the city like that."

"Alright. How long does it take to travel to Demacia?"

"Walking? Pretty long. However an associate of mine provides portal services to other nations."

" _Illegal_ portal services, you mean."

"Non-state organized transportation portals," Vladimir adhered "but yes, sort of illegal. I've already commissioned a portal, what do you say we go get what I paid for?"

"Sounds like a plan," said Zed "and by the way, what's a phone?"

* * *

Twenty minutes later the unlikely duo of assassin and caster appeared a mile within the heart of Demacia. Zed was still indignant how a phone had nothing to do with the conversation they'd had before, though he must admit this… phone sounded really convenient. Vladimir claimed "hold the phone" was just an expression…

"No offense, but do all Ionians live under a rock?"

"Some does, but mostly they prefer to live on top of rocks."

Vladimir didn't bother hiding his chuckle

"Honest advice? You need to hang out more."

"Hang out?"

"As in, going outside and seeing how the world works. I'm always getting the impression you Ionians are old people in seemingly young bodies."

"Well I suppose that is true…"

"Literally true?"

Zed snorted "Certainly not," he began looking around more closely "isn't it kind of crowded?"

"Oh, yeah," said Vladimir casually "there's a demonstration of a certain Sona Buvelle today. She's also Ionian, I'm told."

"The Maven's concert? How did you know of this?"

"I may or may not have overheard Swain discussing it with his bird," said the Hemomancer sheepishly.

Zed laughed "Fair enough, is he close?"

"Yeah, just around the corner. I can sense his pulse now," Vladimir paused "well, I'd be damned. His pulse is just like yours, albeit even _slower._ Is he an Ionian?"

"What, are Ionian heartbeats different from others?" Zed asked tauntingly.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Ionian's are generally calmer, second beat less distinguishable, and extremely stable if you are a ninja… which you are."

"Creepy," said Zed "you'd be the scariest stalker I've ever known. Blood stalking is a _thing…"_

The Master of Shadows paused. The air, it reeked of a presence so familiar…

He felt his heart skip a beat.

Vladimir looked at him, dropping the signature smirk

"Zed?" he asked with a touch of wariness.

"It can't be." Zed whispered despite his pride.

There was no way _he_ could have… there was not a chance…

Then again, if he thought about it, not anyone would have been able to sneak up on him.

"Zed? What's wrong?" asked Vladimir again. That helped him regain control.

If that was indeed _him,_ then why was he here? What would that man be interested in? Art… Art!

"Vladimir, is Jhin close to Buvelle's concert?!"

The Hemomancer raised an eyebrow curiously

"If 'Jhin' means the guy we are looking for, then yes, he's just around the corner. The performance will be held at a clear area – turn right in two blocks."

"We've got to hurry," said Zed "now!"

Vladimir seemed like he had questions, but nodded. If something could upset the Master of Shadows, it must be pretty urgent. He sank into a Sanguine Pool to match the assassin's sprints.

* * *

The mysterious man watched the Maven from a distance. Take a second to look awesome, time to go. Walk in slow motion, so you still look awesome… wait, we're getting ahead of ourselves.

He sneered. Yet another Ionian who misused her exotic talents. Her art, it was too hopeful, too full of life, it was not real art. She lacked the cruelty that made his masterpieces beautiful, and yet these blind people were drawn to her.

She'd see. No one would usurp his beauty.

Her connection with the Etwahl was impressive, nevertheless. That only brought him more disappointment. If she would only show them, how perfectly terrifying the thing could have been.

Too concentrated was he on Sona Buvelle that he barely managed to dodge the shurikens heading his way. They seared past his skin, drawing a touch of his blood.

The man smirked. Only a handful of people could do that to him.

"Ah, Zed," he addressed the angry ninja "you caught up."

"Jhin," Zed growled "how did you escape?"

"Art cannot be stopped, Zed. You've never understood this. There will always be willing audience," Jhin stated "I see you have changed too. No longer working with that old man's _precious_ son."

"Right, which _willing audience_ let you out again?"

"I'm afraid my audience's identity will have to remain a secret. You know, customer's confidentiality. But why are you so upset about it?"

"I think you know why. You stole my shadow. I want it back."

"Ah, yes," Jhin spoke slowly "I'm sorry I was being so rude. I should have had a chat, for old time's sake. But you can see I have a tight schedule to run."

"I don't give a damn. Give me my shadow back!"

"I'm afraid it will not do," said Jhin "my desire is to make you beautiful. Your shadow is a necessary means to that end."

"I don't have time for your games, Jhin. My shadow,"

The "artist" didn't reply immediately. He looked over Zed's shoulder

"You have a companion, a Noxian! Oh, how far have you strayed? Hello, Noxian. Do you know how many boring performances I have been asked to perform at your nation?"

Vladimir smiled, rising from the blood pool

"Oh, I think I've heard of you. High Command had been buzzing about it. Some time ago there was a serial killer at Noxus, killing four prominent figures and arranging them in grotesque artful scenes. Rumor was that it scared the Command into a truce with Ionia. You were called the Death Virtuoso, if I'm not mistaken."

"Oh yes, what did you think about them?" Jhin spoke in quite a passionate tone "so glad to find someone aware of my masterpieces. Do excuse me, you are?"

"Vladimir, Hemomancer," said Vladimir pleasantly "you didn't have this fancy gun back then."

Jhin's eyes glinted "You realized? You must be a professional yourself."

"Well my tastes aren't that sophisticated…"

"Vladimir! We are not here to discuss the art of homicides!"

The mage blinked

"Oh, yes. A pity. Anyhow, nice gun."

"Vladimir!"

"Thank you," Jhin replied in the same civil tone "my countrymen can be so humorless sometimes."

The mage nodded

"You have no idea. Anyhow, you'll need to give the Master of Shadows his shadow back. So he can be the Master of Shadows and stuff."

"And why are you interested in this affair?"

"Because I think Zed is the safer option if I have to place shadow powers into anyone's hand," Vladimir replied "case and point, you don't even need his powers to be OP, just give it back. Then, you can do whatever you want with Sona Buvelle."

The three of them stared at each other in silence (for different reasons)

"I see. How disappointing," Jhin said, pulling out his gun "I was hoping you'd truly changed, at heart. But no, you are still the same man intent on killing me all those years ago. Very well, _I_ will make you perfect."

* * *

As the first shot was fired, the crowd erupted in silent terror.

"One," said Jhin. How he had missed having _direct audience_. This would be fantastic.

He looked at the gash Zed gave him and smirked. Hemomancer, huh?

"Well, you have a psychopathic serial killer/artist now?" asked Vladimir, irony in his tone "wonderful. What've I just got myself into again?"

"Says the guy who's just been having a chat with him on artistic homicides," Zed retorted, drawing his blades.

"Hey, you've got to at least be polite," Vladimir protested in mock indignation "anything I should watch out for?"

"Do what you can to dodge the fourth shot. Mind the traps. Just… watch out for the fourth of anything…"

"This guy has a four fetish, doesn't he?"

"Tell me about it," Zed grumbled "I'm taking him. Try to not stand in my way."

"Duly noted. After you."

The assassin charged.

"Two," Jhin's mask was still smiling that punch-able smile. Zed dodged the bullet with a maneuver. He slashed at the Virtuoso, who took a step back to dodge. The onslaught continued, Jhin must not have an opening.

"I see the scar I've given you had not dwindled through time."

"Well it's a scar, you fool. Scars don't heal."

"Ready to have _another?"_

The ground under his feet flared. He cursed "Shit."

Before Jhin could root him, a tide of blood had intervened. Zed noticed the blood was drawn from Jhin's wounds.

The Virtuoso laughed

"Three."

Then he shot himself at the wound.

"Watch out, Zed!"

Jhin shot first.

"Four!"

A blinding light accompanied the shot. Zed guarded himself.

"You're very quick," said Jhin to the Hemomancer.

Zed realized Vladimir had drawn his own blood to block the explosive fourth shot. He took back a step to converse with his 'partner'.

"Is it fine, drawing your blood like that?" asked Zed. Vladimir hummed.

"I've had worse," said the caster "my blood can clear the ground of traps. It'll be better if you can make him bleed – drawing out his blood would take less effort then."

"That's why he shot himself?"

"Yeah, the blasts deny my magic. I can't draw blood from that point anymore."

"I can't be faster than him without my shadow," said Zed "he gets faster after each shot. See anything?"

"He's limited to four shots at once, which means he needs to recharge the gun, manually," Vladimir observed "it takes about two seconds. If you wait for the opening, we can overpower him."

The assassin nodded "I don't like letting him fire that fourth shot though."

"Me neither. So destructive, and fancy as well. See, the blood I used was turned into some ash flowers. What a weird ass guy."

"One,"

Both of them quickly sidestepped the bullet.

Jhin was holding out a small box.

"My shadow!" Zed said. He could feel it squirming against the inside of the container.

Oh how he would love to skin this guy before he could say "art".

"Yes, your precious shadow," said Jhin "how hard will it be for the _Master of Shadows_ to not have a shadow at all?"

"I will kill you this time." Zed said coldly "he is not here to stop me now."

"We shall see, ninja," Jhin aimed his gun "Come take what is yours."

Zed didn't need a second invitation.

"Stick to the plan. Corner him, and wait for the fourth shot," he thought "control, Zed."

Zed was a better close-to-mid range combatant overall, but the Virtuoso had stood his ground fairly well for a hunchback cyborg who often plan his attacks rather than charging into fights. Nevertheless, the Master of Shadows was a more prominent fighter, _and_ with the help of a backline, Jhin knew he was overpowered.

Zed let the Virtuoso fight two shots at Vladimir's blood attacks and left two deep gashes on him so that the blood mage could utilize his blood. Any moment now, he needed to act fast.

Realizing the fact he was at a disadvantage, Jhin tossed the box into the air as Zed slashed him across the chest. Blood spilled, and…

"You want your Shadow, Zed?" the Virtuoso took aim at the box.

"No!" Zed cried out, alarmed.

"The curtain calls, Master of Shadows. Four!"

The box exploded in flowers of ashes.

The next thing Zed knew, his world was consumed in darkness.

* * *

"Oh, Zed. You fail to understand. I did not steal the Shadow, it _left_ you."

"You'd do yourself a favor and refrain from any ideas," said Vladimir, his voice now menacing. Entered the homicidal, dark mage the Hemomancer was famed for. The voice filled Jhin with anticipation. "I can drain you dry any moment I want."

"Calm down, Hemomancer," the gunner said smoothly "I won't budge."

"What happened to him?"

"The Shadow is merging, Hemomancer. But it is greedy. Shadows tend to crave sovereign. It is overwhelming his senses. If he lives, then he will emerge. If not…"

Vladimir's glare would have made many brave men shiver. Not a psychopathic artist, though

"It is Zed's battle now, Vladimir. Neither you nor I can intervene. Killing me would not assist him in anyway."

"So this is why you've taken his Shadow in the first place."

"Well yes. I want to see if Zed has become more masterful, if not artistic – but no. He was _good._ That is why he cannot tread the path of the Shadows. The Shadow will overtake him."

"And should he succeed, you will kill him instead."

"You're very intelligent, Vladimir. That does not align with your reputation." Jhin spoke "to be honest, though, you're unexpected. It seems I cannot claim Zed's life today."

Vladimir looked at Zed, whose body was erected and consumed by a dark haze, his red eyes emotionless.

"Zed is not going to die today," said Vladimir.

"Is he not? You wouldn't be so sure."

"I am sure," said the Hemomancer "and I am still watching you – try not to reach for that shoulder cannon just yet."

Jhin laughed "You knew."

"I hear your blood. I know which part of you is human flesh and which part isn't."

"This isn't supposed to be for Zed, though," said Jhin "I have other plans for it."

Vladimir stared at the man currently in a trance, fighting his own darkness.

"You are not gonna die today," he thought "you don't get to die today."

* * *

 _You are weak._

Zed opened his eyes.

 _You are vulnerable._

Right, he got to deal with his Shadow. He forgot.

 _You do not deserve to be my Master. I am the Master now._

"The hell if you are," said Zed.

 _You were sentimental. You showed restraint. You showed weakness._

"Because you chose to leave me!"

 _Is it? Or because you were too weak to hold me back?_

"Well, you came back. What's the drill?"

 _I will take over you. No one will master the Shadows._

The first hit came too abrupt Zed barely had chance to dodge.

 _Give into me. I will drive your talents._

 _After all, you have your weaknesses, as all humans do._

They kept coming at a pace Zed knew he'd be overwhelmed.

 _You showed the Hemomancer weakness. You worked with him._

 _You know he was a threat. And you failed to eliminate the threat._

"You think Vladimir is that easy to kill?" Zed spat. He wondered if Vladimir had to deal with stuffs like this sometimes, having more than one person in his head.

 _You were always the loser, Zed. You're not strong enough. Never strong enough._

"Shut up!"

 _Don't make excuses, Zed. Tell me, are you weak?_

Zed gasped, falling down the floor of darkness. His Shadow appeared over him, taking up his exact appearance except being shrouded in darkness.

 _Are you weak?_

He wanted to say he wasn't. He knew what he could do. He took back his Shadow. He wanted no one's help...

It was a blatant lie. The Shadow knew it. He knew it.

He was weak.

* * *

"Mr. Zed, is weakness such a bad thing?"

"Of course it is, Lulu." He had replied "that is why we become strong, to eradicate weakness."

"Why?"

"If you're weak, you are easily manipulated, forced into submission. You are not free. That is most unbecoming."

"Hmm, but if you say you're weak, it means you are strong, no?"

"What?"

"If you say you are weak, then you're making yourself vulnerable. It takes a lot of strength to admit that, don't you think?"

"Or stupidity,"

"Well, aren't the two of them sort of the same thing?"

* * *

The same thing…

 _But now is the time you are, and you have to cope up with it._

Coping up with… vulnerability?

Accepting vulnerability?

Either he was stupid or strong, he did not know.

"I am,"

Well, he could care less.

 _What?_

"I am weak," said Zed "I am mortal, flesh and blood. I am a man, with emotions and passion. I do not deny you, I do not subdue to you. I accept you."

 _What!?_

"You are my darkness. I will embrace you. I accept that I am weak."

 _So you are. Subdue to my will!_

"You heard me. I accept that I am weak. Does that not make me strong?"

 _Hahaha! The yordle's driven you insane._

"Well," Zed smiled, reaching for the Shadow's face "aren't they sort of the same thing?"

 _No! You could not have! It could not be so easy!_ The Shadow shrieked.

"I am weak. But I trust Lulu. That is why I trusted Vladimir. They could help me be strong. I do not get lost in my darkness, I control it. I master my fear. I am the Master. I don't deny you, I'll control you."

 _Very well, Master of Shadows. You've found your answer. The Shadow will not leave your mantle ever again._

* * *

Zed's eyes snapped open.

"You're back," Vladimir said in a neutral tone, brushing something off his coat "how did the adventure go?"

"Jhin!" he exclaimed "where's he?"

Vladimir gestured around. Smokes were flying off the ground. Flying ashes scattered through the air.

Zed hit his face with his hand.

"That flowery bastard…"

"Sorry about that," said Vladimir "he caught me off-guarded. Threw a smoke bomb and fired his shoulder cannon. I did draw a lot of his blood, but with that many mechanical compartments he's not dead yet."

"Not your fault, Jhin always has some tricks up his sleeve. Makes for a 'true artist', I guess, all that bull crap."

"Why, you're being nice," said the mage, then added with an understanding smile "you've found your answer."

"I wouldn't say answer, more like existentialism paradox," Zed groaned "more to keep me occupied, I guess."

Vladimir shrugged "By the way, Zed…"

"What?"

"If you don't want to pay for this, let's get the hell out of here."

"Sure as hell," Zed smirked, as both men vanished from sight.

That left a smiling Sona Buvelle the only remaining witness. And Sona didn't speak.

* * *

"So, what's about that Jhin guy? Can I get my hands on any non-classified information?"

"Oh, he was once a serial killer who made death his plays, as you've already known. He appreciated beauty in death. That is, until the Old Kinkou Order declared he was too dangerous a threat and had to be contained. The then Eye of Twilight and his son managed to do just that. Now, some esteemed councilor decided he should take a walk and boom! There goes Demacia."

"Demacia is still there, you know."

"Point is, that makes Jhin a killer-for-hire, though. You said due to his killing Noxus made a truce with Ionia? I really don't like the thought of him killing for someone."

"You said it was an Ionian councilor."

"Only someone of such power could have been able to pull this off. Apparently Ionia still has shadier forces at work." Zed grinned. "My mask, Vladimir."

Vladimir tossed him the mask Jhin'd left behind.

"So, what did you have to do with him?"

"Ah, that. I wanted him dead."

"Oh,"

"The then Eye of Twilight and his son _contained_ him, but they weren't the only one _subduing_ him. I happened to get involved, too, and thought the best course of action was to kill him off. But… the old man didn't agree. The rest is history."

"Then he hates you for trying to kill him?"

"Yeah, that's a part. The other part was that I killed the old man, I suppose. He couldn't have his revenge now," Zed shrugged "I told the old man that bastard shouldn't be kept alive, he just didn't listen."

"Interesting," Vladimir mused "and you were not aware of his escape the slightest?"

"No. Whoever let him out was pretty quiet, and must be hell a lot powerful. I'll probably be discreet. Besides, Jhin always has his agenda. I doubt he'd reveal much about his personal enemies."

"Look who's the hero now?"

Zed gave him a pointed glare.

"Mr. Vlad! Mr. Zed!" a familiar voice called to them. There Lulu was, gliding on Whimsy towards the duo "you two seem to be getting on well!"

"Apparently," said Vladimir with a meaningful glance at Zed, who shrugged

"I'm glad you are," said Lulu "did everything go alright? Did you find the attacker?"

"We did, but he escaped. There was a complication."

"Oh! Tell me! I want to know!"

"Next time, Lulu." Zed promised "I have to return now. Should not be away for too long. Vladimir, my attire."

"You can ask nicely, you know." The mage said, handing the assassin his washed clothes.

He got back a wide smirk

"Nope. Can't do that. Goodbye, Vladimir."

"See you around, Master of being insecure."

Zed shot him a death glare before smiling lightly to Lulu. Then, he entered a portal and disappeared.

The Hemomancer turned to the yordle and smiled

"Now who would want some stories?"

 **END.**

 **Bonasu Shiin (most pointless bonus scene ever):**

Sona smiled at the two interrogators.

"Can you give us any description of the assailants?" asked Quinn.

The musician shook her head, her smile still intact.

"How about the number of those responsible?"

Sona shook her head again, smiling

"Alright," Quinn sighed "this is a serious attack on the people of Demacia. We'd really appreciate it if you could let us know if you remember something."

Sona nodded, and with the automatic smile and some notes, excused herself from the questioning.

Quinn sighed again. There was simply no other eye witness. Sona "convinced" them all to leave.

She looked over to Lux.

"I think the Maven is hiding something." She said.

The light mage nodded "same here." Why, though, was the question.


	4. Another Vladimir anecdote ft Vayne

**Another Vladimir anecdote featuring Lulu and Shauna Vayne (introducing Talon)**

First off, I have some explaining to do.

So I've probably said that I prefer (can only do) non-pairing fics, since I spectacular suck at any pairing. However at the point of writing this little episode (which was waaayy before the Zed one), I might have intended for some attraction between Vlad and Shauna Vayne. It was actually one of my favorite pairings _at the time_ (now I'm like... meh). I did not know what I was going for when I wrote this, and since it's a long time ago I barely have any recollection of it. So, yeah, there might be some obvious hints here. And obviously, since I suck at any romantic relationships, it kinda sucks.

TL;DR: There might be hints of Vlad - Vayne pairing. If you're not into that sort of stuff, I'm sorry. If you're not into pairings like I am, I'm sorry too.

* * *

"Mr. Vlad!" Lulu called, gliding on her wand through the dark streets of Noxus. Her voice echoed through every corner, stirring the deadly quietness of night. As usual, the gloomy, eerie silence did not bother her high spirits in the slightest. The Fae Sorceress continued calling, unfazed.

"It should be somewhere around here, what do you think, Pix?"

The purple fae made some incomprehensible noises. Lulu nodded in agreement.

"That way? Noxus is such a dull place."

In the darkness, a shadow moved. Several knives charged towards Lulu's direction, only to be deflected by a magic shield.

With her smile wide, Lulu greeted.

"Salutations, the Blade's Shadow!"

The Blade's Shadow himself stepped out from the darkness, seeming quite literally shocked.

"Lulu?"

"Yes, Mr. Talon. Isn't this a beautiful night?"

The fae nodded in agreement.

"Talon is fine, thanks. What… are you doing here?"

"As you've heard, I'm looking for Mr. Vladimir, the Hemomancer. Do you happen to know where he is?"

"Yeah, precisely that," Talon almost face palmed "Why are you looking for him?"

The real question should be "Why the heck are you, a yordle girl with a fae, looking for one of the most dangerous mages in the world, in a city belonging to such a hostile and dangerous nation?", but he couldn't help see how casual Lulu seemed to be taking this.

"Oh, you see, I've been growing bored. I usually travel around while I'm bored. Mostly it's in the woods of Bandle. Occasionally Miss Janna will allow me to accompany her to Piltover. Poppy sometimes allows me to stay at her place in Demacia for a while, too. While I've not traveled to other places as much, I've visited at least once each. Zac let me come to Zaun under his "surveillance". Braum agreed to take me to Freljord once or twice. Mr. Zed brought me to Ionia…"

"Wait… what?"

"… and Thresh took me on a tour around Shadow Isles once. You see, the point is, I've traveled mostly around this world, except for Noxus. Hmm, I wonder why… so, I decided that I will visit Noxus at once! I will use the chance to visit Mr. Vlad, too; I've not seen him in quite a time. I've been trying to find him, you see, but it seems he has yet heard me."

Talon stood still with his mouth agape as Lulu enthusiastically accounted for her unlikely presence on the streets of Noxus. The girl was a chatter box. Surely nothing could hinder her. Talon found, deep down, that he was unlikely willing to do the same.

"Uh… are you Vladimir's friend?"

"Well, you could say so. I certainly consider him a friend – he's a funny individual," holy cow? "not sure if he thinks the same, but it must be!"

"You did not inform him you were coming?"

"No, I've not been able to contact him," Lulu replied.

"Lulu, you should have informed Vlad beforehandedly. Noxus is not a place you should wander alone. Currently Vladimir is… not present in Noxus. He's gone off somewhere dealing with some dark magic stuff… yeah I don't know the details."

"Well, that's too bad!" Lulu exclaimed "it's already late. I thought we could meet Mr. Vlad, Pix!"

The fae flapped its wings impatiently.

"Well, I'm sorry, Pix does not like this place as much," Lulu explained "though I think all places are interesting!"

The Blade's Shadow felt a small twinge of guilt in his chest. He crouched down so that their eye level was the same.

"I know where Vladimir lives," he offered "tomorrow morning he'll be back, I've heard. How about, I drop you off at his place, so that you'll wait for him there?"

"Can you? Thank you! You are so kind, Talon!"

Talon nodded, turning to hide a small blush on his face – out of shame and guilty joy – at Lulu's heartfelt remark.

"You're welcome, Lulu," he replied, and Lulu beamed him a wide smile.

* * *

Vladimir didn't have to enter his house to know it had been infiltrated. He heaved exasperatedly. What was it now? Could the Noxians do business without a break-in serving as a warning? Not that he was too critical, but sometimes a note in advance would be really nice.

Especially in the situation he was in then – carrying an unconscious, blood drenched Shauna Vayne in his hands.

Not that he was complaining much, no. But if it was those bureaucrats…, well, it would be pretty bad.

Examining the slightest signs of infiltration, he easily recognized Talon's work. Quick, efficient, unlike his lady aka surrogate sister Katarina's messy ways. Why Talon, he wondered. The Blade's Shadow only served the duCouteaus, so could this be an "offer" from everyone's favorite clan…

He really had no choice but to come in.

But how did they know he came back early?

Vladimir unlocked the door and stepped in. There was light in the living room, and voices, too.

"Is it true that you can persuade Thresh to give you a tour on the Shadow Isles?" said Talon.

The hell?

Out of curiosity, he strode up to the door and opened it swiftly.

"Oh, Thresh is actually a nice guy. You just have to ask nicely – you see, he really likes cupcakes, too, so…"

"Lulu?" Vladimir startled.

"Mr. Vlad!" she cried out in joy "you're back! I've missed you. You did not show up for a while, so I came looking. Talon got me to your place since you were away," Talon shrugged "but you're here now!"

You can always trust Lulu to tell you everything.

"Uh, Lulu, just give me a head start before you come, alright? Sorry I was not able to contact you. And, Talon, please, did you have to?"

The assassin smirked.

"If I'd known you were bringing your girlfriend I'd not have dropped by."

Vladimir groaned. He'd forgotten.

"Is that Miss Shauna Vayne? She seems injured," Lulu asked worriedly. See, the good thing about Lulu was that sometimes she never seemed to care if anything abnormal showed up.

"Shut it, Talon," Vladimir snapped "she's finished the job before I got there, at a pretty high cost. I've stopped the bleeding, but she was still weak."

"I thought you and her were sort of enemies."

"I certainly do not approve of all dark magic cults, there's a chance we can have the same target. At any rate, this "Kraken cult" is a complete bullshit. Illaoi would have done worse."

"Who?"

"The Kraken… oh never mind. The cult was a fake, but deceived quite a few. Their leader was exceptionally powerful at magic too – not exactly related to Kraken, though."

"I assume the Night Hunter had taken care of all smoothly?"

"She killed them all. What did you expect?" said Vladimir, as he laid Vayne down a sofa. Lulu approached her and began casting a spell.

"Hmm, efficient," Talon remarked "you set your eyes on quite a hard mark."

Vladimir cast him a glare.

"Few," Lulu sighed in relief "I think she's alright. She might need a little rest."

"I'd better get going," said Talon, standing up "It was good to talk, Lulu. Vlad, take heed."

"Get lost!"

"See ya!" Lulu laughed, waving her hand.

With one fluid movement Talon had disappeared.

* * *

"You're so reckless, you know?" Vladimir asked as he came back with tea and some biscuits.

Lulu picked up a biscuit and happily bit on it, tossing some pieces to Pix. She said while chewing

"Well, what's the worst that could happen?"

"There are so many I don't know where to begin."

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm very powerful, well at least Pix is."

Vladimir sighed. He reached over and patted the yordle gently on her head.

"So, my little devil, how've you been?"

Lulu smiled gleefully.

"Doing _pretty_ well. I've become friends with Gnar. Could not reach Rek'sai though, but Bard is adorable. I should take up Xer'sai tongue some time. Gnar talks very strange…"

"You _can_ understand him?"

"Yes, Pix helps if I can't. How about you? What were you doing with Miss Shauna Vayne? Was it some dangerous magic cult? I want to know."

 _Was dangerous even a word in your vocabulary?_

"Slow down. We weren't doing anything _together._ I came when she already passed out."

"Poor thing. She exerted herself too much," said Lulu, sounding truly sorry "but I thought Miss Shauna Vayne didn't really like you."

"Well yeah, that's the thing."

"Do _you_ like her?"

Vladimir rolled his eyes.

"Do you _really_ have to ask, Lulu?"

"Of course!"

Oh well.

"Perhaps I'm a little bit interested."

"Hmm, you need help?"

"Uh… no," if it was really what he thought she meant, then definitely no.

Lulu looked over the sofa Vayne was in, and shrugged.

"You can definitely use some."

"Thank you, Lulu," he said quickly, avoiding the subject. He came to the window, where one could see the city trailing beneath "how are you enjoying Noxus so far?"

Lulu followed him. She took his hand and he brought her up his shoulder.

"You seem to have grown."

"Indeed," said Lulu, looking at her hands "that's weird. I did not age at all in the Glade. Noxus… is a strange place."

"Is anything strange to you, Lulu?"

"Noxus is! It is so quiet and dark and Pix does not like this place! Why are the lights not on in this city, Mr. Vlad?"

Vladimir gazed down the foggy streets of the city, where only small dots of light were visible.

"We don't have them."

"But in Bandle we light torches! It's always bright in Piltover, and Demacia's not bad. But here, it's just dark and heavy. Pix says he smells blood!"

Vladimir glanced at the small fae who nodded enthusiastically.

"The Noxians are long used to living in the shadows. Perhaps that is why we hone the best of assassins," he replied "Therefore, no one feels the need for lamp posts."

"Really? You all must have good night vision! You know, like yordles – some of us have excellent vision at night."

Night vision

Vladimir laughed.

"Are the Noxian people that depressed?"

"We… certainly have a different moral standing from other nations. The strongest deserves to rule."

"But how do you evaluate "strongest"? How strong is "strongest", Mr. Vlad, do the Noxians have an answer?"

"That, perhaps no one can ever do. But that is what people stand by."

Lulu frowned.

"Then what happens to those who are not strong?"

"Society abandons them."

"But… that's not _right,_ is it?"

Perhaps had he never met Lulu, he would have rejected the idea.

"It _could_ be. But in Noxus, it is the social norm. People expect to be strong and strive to be strong."

"But what is strong?" she persisted "are you strong? Am I strong? Is Miss Shauna Vayne strong? Give me something to work with."

"I… am regarded as kind of "strong", by Noxian standards. The strongest one now, as of Noxus, is the Grand General, Jericho Swain. As it is supposed to be,"

"So it is strength in power?"

"Not only combat power, but strategic and manipulation too. That is pretty much the case."

"That's still not right," said Lulu "something's not right."

Vladimir might have an idea or two.

"Now, now," Vladimir prodded at Lulu's face softly "aren't you a little depressing today? Cheer up. I'll bring you to Sinful Succulence tomorrow. You see, there's even an angel in the darkest of places."

"Really?" asked Lulu excitedly "will we go? Will we go?"

"Sure, but tomorrow. I'm not sure Morgana opens at night. Now, hmm, the night is still young. Are you hungry?"

"Well, I'm eating these amazing biscuits. They are not from Morg, aren't they?"

"No, I bake them myself. Have some tea, Lulu," said Vlad, settling the yordle down a couch "then after that, we can see my library. I'm sure there'll be books that you'd be interested in."

* * *

Shauna Vayne opened her eyes to a dim light.

The hunt, it'd really gone south. The ringleader was unexpectedly powerful, although he had nothing to do with the Kraken. The mystery of the Beast still eluded in the shadows, but at least it'd got nothing to do with black magic – yet.

Vayne could remember getting burned with several curses, all of which had mostly died down then. To be honest, she really thought at the time she had no chance. There were too many, and she'd lost a lot of blood. At the time, she thought letting it end like that was an insult to her reputation.

But this place, was not that battlefield.

She was in a house, lying on a sofa. Her wounds were mostly gone. Her hair was down – and where were her glasses?

The room was decorated in warm, yellow colors, with only a sofa, two couches, a coffee table and several shelves. The shelves were filled with bottles of all shapes and sizes and boxes of what she assumed to be paperwork. There was an abnormally large purple hat on one of the couch…

Wait, Lulu?

Vayne sat up, and reached for the hat, trying to ignore the stiffness in her body. It definitely belonged to Lulu. Maybe the Fae Sorceress had helped her. But what was Lulu doing there?

No, something was amiss.

Her glasses were on the coffee table, her weapons were laid on a wall. Vayne did not think about picking them up just yet – she knew she was still weak – and opted for the window instead.

She looked down and couldn't quite place what she was feeling.

It was Noxus. She was in the center of Noxus.

And so was Lulu?

What the hell was going on?

* * *

"You're late, Talon," Katarina stated "this is unlike you."

For once, Talon had no defenses. Not that he usually complained a lot. He just shrugged.

"You didn't even need me anyway," he stated, taking his seat at the window.

"Well, yeah, but you said you were only checking on whatever was calling for the bloodsucker…"

"It's Lulu."

Katarina's eyebrows shot up.

"The fuck?"

"Well, yeah. So I took her to his abode," said Talon "you'd not want to let a little girl like her having no place to stay at night."

"Ah, no wonder," said Katarina.

The Blade's Shadow couldn't help a smirk.

"Were you worried about me?"

"What? Of course I was! Don't just suddenly _disappear_ like that! I…"

His smile dropped.

"Kat… I'm sorry,"

The Sinister Blade turned around.

"I could not fathom Vladimir would take up companions like Lulu, ever. There're some you just can't understand, I guess."

"I would not find it so difficult to understand, Kat."

At Katarina's puzzled expression, he smiled.

"You'll see."

"I hate it when you sound all wise and knowing," she complained.

Talon shrugged again.

"Well, since we're all done here, shall we take a rest? You're really lacking it recently."

"And you're not?"

"Well, I'm used to it. But I'll take a quick sleep tonight. You can't really avoid it if you'd been in Lulu's enthusiastic company."

"It's… not necessary a bad thing."

"I never said it was. I'll get going, good night, Kat."

Katarina duCouteau smiled softly.

"Night, Talon."

* * *

Lulu was reading a tome on transformation technique when a slight change in magic occurred to her.

Someone had touched her hat.

"What is it?" she heard Mr. Vlad ask.

The yordle instinctively raised her hand to lift her hat as usual, only to find it missing.

"Oh, your hat? You left it back in the living room."

"Ah… I think Miss Shauna Vayne has awakened," she retold honestly.

Vladimir frowned "How did you know?"

"I think she touched my hat. I can feel it if people touch my hat."

The Hemomancer shrugged.

"She sure recovered quickly."

Lulu looked at the door.

"Should we go see if she's okay?"

"If you want to, Lulu."

"Aren't you supposed to be the one to 'want to'?"

"Yeah, I can pretty much see what she's going to do," said Vladimir "Did you like the books?"

"Of course! Pix seems fixated on them, too. Hey Pix, is that Dark magic?"

The fae floated up and flown towards Lulu.

"Always good to know, but we wouldn't use it anytime you know? We should be efficient. See, I know how to turn people into cats now."

They left the library, with Lulu carrying her tome.

"Let me help you."

"Oh, thanks, Mr. Vlad." Lulu replied as they began walking back the living room.

The two things that Vladimir enjoyed in his life were, aside from bloodshed, books and wine. He prided himself on having quite the unique and diverse collection of books and magical tomes (as well as an arrange of wine), despite only reading them as a hobby. Thanks to that he developed quite an understanding of magic and society as a whole. Although Lulu's magic was quite a new thing for him…

"So, Lulu, your magic… is like the one written in that book?"

"Well, the principle is pretty much the same. Magic is universal, after all."

"Yes, and we only interpret it differently."

"You sure are well-versed in magic."

"A hobby. It comes in handy in battles against mages, too. But, I'm still wondering, what good does transforming people into cats do?"

"Well, cats are incredibly adorable! Don't you think?"

"Sadly, not after Rengar."

"Come on! Rengar's not bad. He actually took care of Gnar quite a while. Gnar likes him. Though I do admit he's quite grumpy."

They stopped at the door.

"Well, your pleasure, Lulu."

Lulu placed two knocks on the door then blasted it open with her cane, revealing a very surprised Shauna Vayne inside.

"Miss Shauna…"

Before the yordle could finish, Vayne had already leaped at the Hemomancer's throat, silver bolt in hand.

"What have you done to me?" she shouted, blade at his throat.

 _Ah, typical._

"Oh hey, Vayne, I think you're the one currently assaulting me here."

"Do not fuck around with me!"

"Hey, language! There's a child here!" he exclaimed indignantly.

"I said…"

"Adoribus!"

Vayne could feel herself shrinking and turning into a… cat? (Not a two tailed squirrel?).

She tried to protest, but what came out was a "Meow!"

Lulu's hands picked her up and the yordle snuggled her, voice filled with glee.

"Aw, so cute! See, Mr. Vlad, I told you cats were cute!" she giggled "but the color is not quite what I expected though." The yordle frowned, scrutinizing Cat-Vayne "Too dark!"

"Meow!"

At the sight, Vladimir couldn't help a small laugh, though he tried to stifle it for the love of his life.

"Ah, but you were hurting Mr. Vlad! I can't let you do that! So fuzzy!"

 _Why… what were you doing with him?!_

"Oh, we were just at the library, you see, he has lots of books. Before that, I had tea with biscuits, and before that I met Mr. Vlad, and before that…"

The Hemomancer couldn't quite keep it so subtle anymore.

Under different circumstances Vayne should have been able to sympathize with him.

"Lulu, you should turn her back. I don't think she'd be thrilled to remain a cat any longer."

"But she was hurting you! Like this, she can't do that _and_ is adorable! It's a double win! See, you can snuggle her."

"It is tempting," Vladimir admitted with a smirk "but do change her back, Lulu."

Lulu's purple ears fell a little, and she looked at Cat-Vayne with a very serious face.

"Will you promise me you won't hurt Mr. Vlad?"

The earnest in her voice surprised Vayne. She sighed.

 _Alright, Lulu, I promise. For now._

"You will no longer be cute, is that okay?" Lulu's face was of pity now.

 _Yes, of course. Do turn me back, please._

"Dis-Adoribus!"

As Vayne returned to her true form, Vladimir continued

"A pink color scheme would've been better."

"Right? That was what I intended! Maybe I did not master it that well, though."

"Vladimir," said Vayne difficultly, trying to keep her voice neutral "what happened?"

"Do you need help getting up?"

"I… I'm good," said she, struggling to stand up. Vladimir chose to respect her decision – it'd not do well to touch her "now what happened?"

"I heard rumors about a Kraken cult and wanted to confirm its existence, so I set out on a trip a day ago. I was interested, since from what I know Kraken has nothing to do with black magic."

"No?"

"No. Indeed I was correct, but you were there before me and took care of things… quite recklessly," he added "I only stopped your bleeding and, oh well, brought you to my abode in Noxus. You are welcome."

"You saved me… why?"

"I'd not want you to die then, that would really be a waste," said Vladimir "shall we head back to the living… Lulu, are you tired?"

"Uh, huh," Lulu yawned "tomorrow we go to Sinful Succulence, right…?"

"Sure," said Vladimir gently, picking her up "good night, Lulu."

Lulu waved at him then dozed off, breathing quietly.

"I did not really expect you'd pull that off," said Vayne.

"Vayne, I did not, and could not, do anything to her. Lulu's just like that – she's always earnest and enthusiastic. Deep down, she only wants everyone to be happy… a simple soul."

The Night Hunter watched Vladimir lay Lulu down in a couch and placed her hat in her hand.

"I did not know you had this side in you."

"Well, quite surprising, don't you say?" asked he "but if you understand her, you'll never want to disappoint her. She's very loyal... although she can be _really_ inquisitive at times."

"How did you two even get used to each other?"

"Well, she complimented on my grand humor…"

"Oh, wow. Did not really expect that one. So… I'm in Noxus"

"Lovely place, isn't it?"

"Certainly more of my kind of a place than Demacia," said Vayne "how did she go from super excited to snoozing quietly in like, 30 seconds?"

"Because Lulu is magic. But I guess Noxus is a bit too heavy even for her high spirits. Lulu can see residues of magic and life, which was probably the reason this fae was interested in her. Oh hi Pix."

Pix was sitting on top of Lulu's hat.

"Hello, Vladimir."

"It talks?" Vayne asked incredulously.

"Sometimes. Are you not tired, Pix?"

"As Lulu said, the air is too heavy for my liking. But I'm fine," said Pix "do pretend I am not here and go on with your… speech."

"I thought you had something interesting to inform me."

"I want to know more about the Kraken. You see, I left the Glade to explore the world. Thanks to Lulu I've known much, but I've only heard tales of the Kraken."

"So you are a freak even by fae standards?"

Pix simulated glaring at him.

"No offense. Would I assume you'd have similar interests?" he asked Vayne.

"Is it really not a creature of magic?"

"The Bilgewater people call it by different names: Mother Serpent, Bearded Lady, and the native tongue Nagakabouros. So, yeah, it's a creature of pure biological existence, no magic involved. But there is a person capable of summoning its presence. A rough, grunt lady…"

"Who?"

"Her name is 'Illaoi', Priestess of the Kraken. Though, for the love of whatever divine, don't go find her… though you'd not listen anyway."

"Is she that dangerous?"

"Best if you avoid her. You two would not listen, would you?"

"Not if you would not tell me." Pix said.

"Hit first, ask questions after beating them to a pulp," he murmured "harsh lessons _indeed."_

"Alright, thank you. Now you can pretend I do not exist again."

Then the fae dove down into Lulu's hat.

"You sure have… odd companions," said Vayne. Why was she talking to him so easily?

"My fate, I guess. There's also Elise."

"You two know each other?"

Vladimir stood up. He came to the shelves and picked one of the bottles.

"Would you prefer wine or tea?"

At her lack of response, he sighed.

"You can at least say 'I'd not consume anything you provide'."

He took a bottle of black tea leaves and put some in his teapot, adding hot water and brought it to the table.

"You can try to kill me now, if you want."

"I promised Lulu I would not. I will honor my word."

Vladimir poured himself a cup of tea, humming thoughtfully.

"Hmm, indeed," he said "say, Shauna Vayne – why do you want to get me so badly?"

"Because you are a dark mage and a murderer and…"

"Please," said Vladimir "the other reason."

"Why would you assume otherwise?"

"Because the way you look at me is different."

"What… what?"

Vladimir shrugged.

"The way you look at me… it feels more personal. It is as if I embody the very reason of your vengeance."

"My… vengeance…"

"I'd think you'd understand this better than I do. All the evil purging you do, it is because of vengeance. All those Kraken frauds you just killed, it was only to sate your thirst for revenge. But they were only substitutes to the real one. However, you consider me somewhere closer to the vengeance you seek."

"It is not vengeance, it is only righting what was wrong."

Vladimir took a sip of his tea.

"Vengeance, all the same. You are an avenger, Shauna Vayne, it is what makes you so ruthless and cold. There are ideas that you're becoming the very thing you're trying to vanquish. Which is… _true,_ to a certain degree."

Vayne stayed silent.

"What fascinated me about you is that despite your ruthless vengeance, you're keeping quite a good hold on yourself. Treading between death and life, dark and light, and you still honor the promise with a small girl. Do you know how incredible that is?"

"Are you… complimenting me?"

"Obviously I'm rather interested in you. You can choose to place honor before you vengeance, which is astounding."

"I only know who the enemy is and who I am supposed to protect. I don't want another little Shauna crying in a room between her parents' dead bodies again."

"So you honed your vengeance into something else. How honorable," he said with plain admiration.

"I never really thought you were the type to spend time debating morals."

"Of course you'd not do that. I am the subject of your vengeance – anything of me does not matter the slightest to you," he mused. "Though I really must ask – what did I really do against you?"

He looked up to see her blue eyes hardened.

"I did promise to find the witch who killed my parents."

"I swear I am not…"

"It wasn't you, of course. They were not killed by blood magic, that is for sure. They only died."

"Ah. And have you come closer to the identity of the target?"

Vayne stared at him for a while, and wondered how such an _intelligent_ person fell into the path of endless bloodlust.

"I'm confident I have identified her."

"Oh?"

"Emilia LeBlanc, the Matron of the Black Rose,"

She swore Vladimir was quite unnaturally shocked.

"Am I correct?"

"…"

Vladimir leaned back on his chair, thinking. He tried to make the connection – house of Vayne, and the Black Rose. He did see them in the _List,_ but whatever the Vaynes were doing that required the Matron to step up…

"Answer me, Vladimir!"

"Why do you think it was her?"

"Because my parents know of them, an organization with the Rose insignia. I've come across their log some time ago – the Prince did me a favor. They were trying to look into "the Matron", and they claimed that the "Matron" was not simply just a human being…" and right now that bit didn't make sense to her "… it may not be convincing, but it's the only lead I have."

Suddenly, all started to make sense to him. How close the Vaynes must have come, to the true nature of "Emilia LeBlanc". And how dearly they'd paid…

The Hemomancer looked at the Night Hunter again and wondered why LeBlanc did not end the child's life. Did she go too far, as to force a small child to know the pain of living?

"Vladimir?"

Was this what Emilia LeBlanc expected to see?

Maybe, maybe not…

"So all of this was to get more information on the Rose - on LeBlanc." He said absentmindedly.

"I know you are associated to this organization," said Vayne, "if I interrogated you…"

"Well, now you know you can just _ask,"_ said Vladimir with just a little salt.

"I never thought you were this… noble."

Noble?

"Probably why I suck at being Noxian," said Vladimir. She could see at him whatever she liked. "I don't know exactly who killed your parents…"

"Is the Black Rose responsible?"

"…yes. At least, the _List_ suggests the same. We keep a list of all possible enemies of the Rose – dead and alive. Though I do wonder why LeBlanc even bothered listing your parents if she saw in necessary to do it herself…"

Wait.

Was that actually intentional?

He really wanted to simplify things and stop being a conspiracy theorist, but _really…_ was paranoia a real thing?

"So it's true, then. LeBlanc killed them…"

"Hey, wait up. Let's not jump to conclusions…"

"Are there any other conclusions? LeBlanc is ultimately responsible, even if she did not directly do the thing. Or… do _you_ know something?"

Yes. More than he'd feel comfortable with, as of now. Really, LeBlanc, manipulation much?

"Look who's giving who the cold shoulder now?" Vayne smirked.

Vladimir blinked. It was the first time he saw her do anything close to a smile.

"Is there something wrong?"

He sighed.

"Seriously, what I am afraid is that you will soon confront LeBlanc about this and…"

"Why? Are you worried about me?"

"I am positive that you are gonna attempt such a thing, and honestly? Don't do it. your vengeance and skill are not enough to defeat LeBlanc."

"But…"

"But she will kill you if you choose to face her," said Vladimir. _Because you can see the truth, as your parents had._

"I've _lived_ for this very purpose…"

"Vayne… do you honestly not see any other reason to live for? Your cause is lost."

"I will do what I want, Vladimir. Unless you give me a reason not to," said Vayne "you obviously know something, and I'm willing to hear you out."

Why did she trust him?

Vladimir put the empty cup on the coffee table, debating his reply.

"This is my hypothesis, the reason your parents, the Vaynes, were killed was that they'd come close to the nature of LeBlanc."

"Her… _nature?"_

"Do you believe that there's one ageless beauty who leads the Black Rose since its dawn?"

"Well, no. It can't be, right?"

"Yes and no. There exists an entity called "Emilia LeBlanc". She's the real leader of the Rose. But LeBlanc is not a human being – it's an existence. She exists in every of her successor, taking over their soul and personality…"

"…she's different people but actually one?"

"The Rose considers it a title, but in actuality it is one entity in different forms. See, she even deceives her own people."

"My parents… were killed because of that?"

"Perhaps they were able to identify who the original entity was. I have no idea. Perhaps that is why I'm sitting here talking to you."

"Well, damn," Vayne cursed "that… is really…"

"Only a few people know of this. Let's see: Elise, me, perhaps Swain… and Lulu. Oh, now there's you."

"Lulu?!"

"Lulu always sees the truth, passing all magic and deception. Thanks to her and Elise I've been informed. However recently I've started to fear her little by little."

"That… that's quite a lot to think about… thank you, nevertheless…"

"Why would you thank me? I've just placed a huge burden on you."

"Why do people always say that? This is on my terms. This is what I _live_ for."

"It is not necessary a good thing, anyway."

"No, it might not…" she whispered "I've got to go."

"In the middle of the night?"

She was about to say "I'm the Night Hunter,", but held her tongue and scrutinized the Hemomancer. Vladimir never struck her as _this_ type of person… he was supposed to be her enemy. Sort of. Perhaps she'd misjudged. Perhaps the world is not just black and white.

Perhaps the murderer of countless lives out of sheer bloodlust was a pleasant, yordle-loving man.

Perhaps the one who purged evil-doers and darkness was a murderer.

Perhaps she could never find the answer.

Vladimir was still looking at her, expressionless. She realized this was the first time she considered him a man.

Was he more of a man, or a monster?

"Vayne?"

"Perhaps that is not a good idea."

Perhaps everything was never a good idea.

She suddenly felt very tired, craving for a long sleep. It was just being humans, right?

Shauna Vayne looked at her once-an-enemy and wondered if he had ever felt the same.

* * *

Vladimir returned only to find Lulu already awake, staring at him. Luckily, he wasn't that surprised. Lulu's whimsical conduct affects even her sleeping routine. He only greeted her

"Welcome back, Lulu."

"Is it really okay, leaving things like that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Miss Shauna Vayne and her hatred…"

The Hemomancer only shrugged

"Well, what can I do about it? Her hatred wasn't founded without a reason. Though I do believe she's a discrete person; she won't be seeing LeBlanc anytime soon."

"Why did you bring her back here, Mr. Vlad?"

Vladimir smirked. It was inquisition time. Sooner or later Lulu would catch on, and she's just too persistent to back down.

"Because I wanted to know, why she'd look at me like that. You heard everything, did you not?"

"Is that all?"

"The other reason does not matter as much at the moment."

Lulu only nodded, which did surprise him since he expected her to press on.

"Talon was right. She was a hard mark."

"Hey, Lulu, that's not what I intended…"

"Well, you could have avoided the trouble and leave her there after stopping her bleeding, but you just decided to bring her to the heart of Noxus. Does she mean _personal_ to you?"

"Maybe…" said Vladimir "but Lulu, who really taught you?"

"Taught me what?"

"Never mind…"

"I don't think Miss Shauna Vayne hates you." Lulu continued "like, on a personal level, not the "black magic creatures should die" thing. So, you know, you can…"

She couldn't finish before Vladimir gently patted her on the head.

"I'm alright, Lulu. I truly am. So, you don't have to worry."

The yordle smiled. She took her place on the couch and began reading.

Vladimir watched her eyes moving on the pages before heading over to the window, feeling rather amused… and a little confused, too.

Did he bring her back here because he wanted to do something with her?

He hoped not.

He didn't even know what exactly was that he wanted.

He shouldn't have brought her here. Why did he… but he only wanted to ensure she was safe… alive. And yet, he'd revealed a secret that'd plague her forever.

She and he, they all lived to kill.

For the first time since forever, he did not marvel at the thought of blood and death.

He looked back and saw Lulu staring at him, smiling.

Maybe he'd never been alive at all.

He smiled back, and something in him knotted.

What was he becoming?

"Is it okay, Lulu?" he asked in a whisper.

Lulu's eyes were so deep and kind.

"Yes."

END.

* * *

 **Bonasu Shiin:**

Morgana looked up from a magazine and greeted

"Vladimir. What a pleasant surprise. I always thought you do your own baking."

"I actually do. Good morning, Morgana."

A second head (exactly the hat) popped on the counter, and Morgana almost jumped.

"Huzzah, Morg! Are you happy to see me?"

"Lulu? What are you doing here?"

She immediately regretted the decision, as Lulu began a long account on how she arrived at Noxus.

"…and then we came here because you cakes are awesome!"

"Shauna Vayne, huh?" asked Morgana "very well. Do take whatever you like."

"Okay!"

As Lulu had run off to the chocolate shelf, Vladimir began

"You could try treating her a bit more kindly, you know. She means no ill will."

Morgana almost roll her eyes.

"She reminded me too much, of what I used to be, and how _happy_ it was." The Fallen Angel sighed "it's not her fault, I guess. But the innocence…"

"I've never been like that. Perhaps that was why I took to her. I can marvel at the things I've never had."

They both looked at Lulu, who was now choosing between different flavors of cupcakes.

"You are too human, Vladimir."

"And you are?"

"We might just all have sentiments within us. But do you regret? What you've chosen."

"No… but I am now not the Vladimir a few years ago, or the young boy feeling blood on his hands for the first time. I don't know what I'm becoming. But she said it was okay."

Morgana only shrugged.

"You're biting quite a lot, aren't you? Lulu, and then the Night Hunter… Would you like to get anything? I'm sure I bake better than you do."

"How mean," said Vlad "but I guess change is good. Do you have almond tuiles?"

The bell rang once more and simultaneously all three occupants of the store stared at the newcomer.

"Miss Shauna Vayne," Lulu was the first to speak "lovely day! Are you here for a cupcake?"

Vayne stared warily at the other two who only shrugged.

"No. I like mousse better, though."

"Hmm," Lulu hummed "Mousse is good, too. I love _all_ the desserts."

After making sure Lulu was no longer paying her any mind, Vayne approached Vladimir, who was studying a box of almond tuiles.

"Morning, my dear," he teased.

Vayne immediately went rigid, but her composure was quickly recovered as she spoke

"Thank you," she began "for saving me."

That was awkward.

"You don't have to do something you're not comfortable with," said Vladimir "but if you insist, then you are welcome, Shauna Vayne."

The Night Hunter glowered a little at him, but said no word.

"Are you coming back now?"

"Yes, I'm on my way."

"Hmm, for the record, I have to say I'm sorry. Now you have to sneak out of Noxus all by yourself."

"No, not at all! Meeting you was very… helpful." Vayne replied "…it's certainly helped me learned a lot. Plus the bed was nice. I've not had a soft bed for quite a while."

Obviously Vayne was trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm flattered," Vladimir decided to play along "it's the guest bedroom for Elise. She's really picky on that stuff."

"Oh, is that so?" Vayne's voice wavered just a little that Vladimir didn't notice.

Morgana, on the other hand, elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ouch! Morg, what was that for?"

"Is that really the best you can do?" she asked indignantly "dearest Vayne, I suggest you avoid this guy… for he is really dumb sometimes."

"Oh! No! That's not what I meant. No, honestly, it's not what you think."

"Sorry," Vladimir interrupted "what is going on?"

Morgana was so enjoying this.

"I told you, he's dumb. Now, I can help you with your trip back to Demacia. I can open you a portal so that you won't have to sneak through customs."

"That'd be really kind, but I wouldn't dare bothering you…"

Morgana produced a basket of baking products and smiled.

"Of course not, dear. You are going to have to take this for me. Eat well, young lady, you seem to have starved over."

Vayne looked at the treats hesitantly.

"Thank you, but I…"

"Come now, I doubt you ate anything at this guy's place."

Vladimir shot her a "not my fault" look.

"And if you don't like it, I'm sure you can share it with your Demacian friends. I heard I was quite an infamous baker."

Without any choice left, Vayne took the basket.

"Good," said Morgana "anytime now, dear."

"Right now, if possible."

Morgana began weaving several strands of magic into a singularity.

"Vladimir, it was good to talk. If… if you have any other information, would you mind inform me?"

She was looking at him expectantly – one that suddenly resembled Lulu's inquisitive looks, except that hers were stone-like stoic.

He felt his stomach quenched.

She only wanted revenge.

What did he want, then?

"If possible," he chose to answer.

The Night Hunter nodded one last time before disappearing into the purple portal.

"Hah, I'm done!" Lulu announced, placing her purchases on the counter.

But the Fallen Angel was feeling rather well that day.

"Vladimir, you and your yordle gets everything for free. In exchange for the good story,"

It took Vladimir a while to comprehend what she just said.

"Uh, isn't that…"

"Do we? Yes! I told you this was a good idea!" Lulu cheered "Mr. Vlad, do take some more of those almond cookies! It's free!"

As they exited Sinful Succulence, Lulu started to grin.

"I _told you_ we would get them free."

Vladimir sighed

"Alright, little devil, you win this time."

* * *

Oh my lord it is roughly 7000 words!

And again, hemoglobin puns are severely lacking. I suck at them, actually. It takes talent to be like Vlad, man.

Illaoi was referenced because at the time I wrote this, Illaoi was teased. You can see where my inspirations come from.


	5. A conversation with LeBlanc

**A conversation with LeBlanc**

Vladimir and Emilia LeBlanc have a talk about the Vaynes' case.

Chronologically happened after the events of the previous installment. Like its prequel, it was written ages ago. I wasn't really happy (like extra-unhappy) with the final product, but I liked the idea behind this piece.

Featuring my original characters Ellen Paige and Mary (they are not exactly " _original_ ". You read the summary, right?)

* * *

"It's the Hemomancer," said the Fragment of the World, while playing with her cards "he's coming."

Hextech magician Ellen Paige looked up from her current work station. She brushed her dark hair to one side and asked.

"When?"

"In about two minutes."

Ellen returned to her work – a small silver device pulsing faint electrical pulses. If she could only stabilize the pulses…

"Any guess why Vlad's here? This is not exactly his routine."

"Is than an earnest question?"

The hextech magician sighed

"Whatever you say, Mary."

Mary picked up a card as the door to the archive opened. Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper – as some would call him, strode inside, the smile ever present on his face. He addressed the two occupants of the room.

"Hello, Paige, Mary. How are you?"

"Petals," said Paige "for what deed have you come today?"

"Cut us the codename, Paige. I am here to see the List."

"The List? Why? Found an adversary whom we failed to exterminate?"

"Not quite. I just want to make sure," said Vladimir slowly, retrieving the tome. He occupied a chair on a table far away from the two women and began reading its content.

Ellen shrugged

"I hope you find what you seek." She said, before returning to her techmaturgical device, not paying the Hemomancer any more attention. Mary, however, was heading in his direction, for her eyes were rarely open.

After confirming what he needed, Vladimir sighed quietly. He closed the List and placed it back on the shelf.

He did not misread.

House Vayne of Demacia, reason omitted, exterminated on 14/3/? by Emilia LeBlanc.

The date was not during Evaine's time as a Matron, which explained LeBlanc's homicidal witch conduct back then. LeBlanc did not have a personality; she mimics the personalities of her possessed individual at the time. Whoever it was before LeBlanc must have had anger management issues.

A conduct really unbeneficial to an assassin

"It seems you've found yourself deep into something, Hemomancer."

"I have a name, Mary. You can start using it."

"Hemomancer has no names. Hemomancer is a collection of people acting on the same foundation. Have you yet embraced its existence?"

"The voices in my head are not who I am," or perhaps they were. They were parts of him now, their knowledge and memory. But he was pretty sure he was still the individual named Vladimir "At least I myself decided to come here. Is the Matron currently present?"

"Yes. She's in the office." Ellen replied, not bothering looking up from her machine. She was poking at it with a small screw driver.

"Thank you. I do have some business with her," said Vladimir, heading towards the door leading to the hallway leading to the Matron's office.

"You tread dangerously, Vladimir," Mary warned "is it really worth it, the girl?"

The mage turned around, smiling

"Thanks, but no thanks, Mary."

Then he walked out of the room, his coat floating behind him. Mary returned to her cards.

Ellen sighed

"I will never be able to understand you cryptic freaks."

Viktor was right. Machines are way more trustworthy than humans.

* * *

Vladimir knocked on the door two times before pushing it open.

"Oh. I didn't know you have guests," said Vladimir as he saw two people in the room "Good day, Grand General."

"Vladimir," LeBlanc greeted "what a rare occasion. Don't mind the girls, they in particular do not trust our Grand General."

Swain only gave him a questioning look.

The blood mage only shrugged

"If you're busy, I can come at another time."

"Do make yourself comfortable," said Swain, standing up "I've just finished what I needed. As planned, Matron?"

"Of course, Grand General."

"Very well. Beatrice!" he called. The demon bird returned to her owner's perch "Take heed, Vladimir. I'll be going."

Vladimir winced a little.

"It was a pleasure, Grand General."

The door slammed shut behind him. Vladimir turned back to the manifestation called LeBlanc, who was standing at the cupboard, picking a bottle of wine.

"I'm aware you'd prefer wine to tea," said she "do have a seat. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I'd assume you'd figured it out."

"Ah," said LeBlanc as she was filling two glasses with the red liquid "well, shall we not testify that?"

She handed him one of the glasses and took a sip from her own. Vladimir mimicked her action.

"Why did you let the Night Hunter live?"

LeBlanc's smile widened just a little.

"That seems like a testament," Vladimir mused.

"At the time, I was sparing a little girl. That little girl has chosen to rise above with her hatred. I only spared Shauna, the little girl, not Vayne, the Night Hunter."

"But you know she will be looking into you. You let her live because you wanted her to do this."

"It's an observation," said LeBlanc "I'm curious how far humans can go. Shauna Vayne was perfect for testifying their strength."

"Even putting the Vaynes on the List served your purpose?"

"You looked into it?"

"Of course," answered Vladimir "I know it was you. As you're already informed, I have a vague idea how you exist."

"How did you know I knew you knew?"

"Because I know Elise," Vladimir replied simply.

"And so, did you tell the little girl about what had happened? Is she going to come at me any minute now, silver bolt in hand?"

Vladimir stayed silent.

"Why, Vladimir, are you silent? Did you not come to inquire?"

For once, Vladimir had not a trace of a smirk on his face. His white eyes stared into LeBlanc's lilac ones, and the Deceiver thought she might have underestimated the Hemomancer just a little.

"Did you expect me to come across their names, too?" he asked, finally.

"Not particularly you, but anyone. I let pieces of the truth fly about. If she's keen enough, or lucky enough, she will ultimately reach the truth. It seems, she'd not chosen wrongly."

Vladimir took another gulp of the perfectly delicious wine. LeBlanc sure had standards.

"And when such time comes, you will not hesitate to end her life."

"No. I will have to test the result I've been trying to create in years. If not, it'd be a waste."

So it was true.

Everyone around her only served as her pawns.

How ironic.

"Now, Vladimir," her voice turned velvet "did you fancy the girl?"

"I may, or may not have," answered Vladimir neutrally "but say, I'm really curious. How far could the Vaynes have probably gone, so that you yourself must see to it?"

LeBlanc smiled, swirling the red wine in her glass.

"Awfully close. Too much for their comfort. Why are humans so curious?" she exclaimed "they were too brilliant, too brilliant for their own good. They were one of the few who could see past what was laid out to them. Rueful thing was that, they were trying to define those things. They wanted the world to see the truth. And so…"

Pup!

A small magic flame sparked in LeBlanc's hand.

"I've underestimated House Vayne, Vladimir. One of those rare flaws that occur every once in a while. Let them know too much."

"And you've not wiped them all out," said Vladimir "very wise decision making, indeed."

"I do not have to fear Shauna Vayne. I can always do away with her as I like. Now, are you going to assist in her calling?"

"And get her killed? Why should I? I'm not even done with her yet."

"Judging by that determination, you shouldn't be here. So why are you here?"

Vladimir smiled.

"I came to confirm, how truly scary you are. Curiosity, I believe. By the way, have you anything in store to kill me yet?"

The Matron of the Black Rose finished her wine.

"I won't kill you, Vladimir. You are too valuable to pass by. You've assisted me much with Sion, and the Rose always pays its deeds in kind."

"What a relief, Matron," said Vladimir "you are truly terrifying, Emilia LeBlanc."

He set the glass down the table, and with a final bow, left the Matron's office. LeBlanc's eyes followed his footsteps until the door was closed, and smiled to herself.

Life was truly incredible.

 **END**

* * *

 **Bonasu Shiin:**

"How did it go?"

"Well, nothing too positive. Should you not be heading back now, Lulu?"

"Nope, I have all the time in the world. Besides, it's not as if I will have anyone to talk to at Bandle."

"Come now, you're one sweet little girl. I'm sure everyone loves you."

"Well, it's certainly better, but… I can only talk to Gnar, he's a nice fellow. But he lives in the woods, finding him is such a pain. The squirrels never look familiar…"

"Lulu…"

"Trist is nice, but then she's always busy. So is Teemo. Rumble isn't exactly the most conversational. There's Veigar, but he's… somewhere. Oh! There's Tahm! But he eats too much for my pleasantry. _And_ I don't trust him. Pix says he lies, a lot! And I don't like lying people."

"Wow, seems like a party in here," said a third voice. Vladimir sighed.

"Afternoon, duCouteau."

Lulu only smiled affirmatively.

"Well, well, if you're not one ballsy little yordle," Katarina duCouteau commented with a smirk.

"Mr. Vlad, what's ballsy?" asked Lulu "round?"

This produced a heartfelt laughter from the red haired assassin.

"What are you doing here, duCouteau?" asked Vladimir.

"Oh, I came across you two and decided to stop by. You two seem the perfect couple. I'm surprised this is your type."

"Yeah, I'm used to it," said Vladimir with a lopsided grin "send my regards to your little brother. He did pick a lock, but that's amendable, I guess. You really should follow his example."

"Talon is _not_ my bro… it's just a window, Vlad! Stop being salty about it!"

"Special Bilgewater seaglass, damn it! Do you know how hard it was to find? And you didn't even pay!"

"Then for Kraken's sake just don't use the seaglass to make a window! You live in Noxus, darling, it comes with certain risks."

"Did you think I have a choice in the matter? And if you all can conduct business in a civilized, professional manner, it will be most helpful."

"Hmm, where's the fun in that?" asked Katarina.

Lulu burst out giggling uncontrollably.

"Oh dear! You two are so funny!" said the yordle "that was gold! Gold, I say!"

"Yeah… so, seems like you're very healthy, Lulu. I'll leave you in Vlad's care. Take heed, Vlad."

"Whatever, duCouteau. Just make sure to send Talon at me when you want something. His damage is much more containable."

Katarina took off into the shadows.

"You have a lot of friends too, don't you?"

"Sadly, no. The duCouteaus are not my friend. There's always Elise, and you too. But other than that, meh."

"But you were very casual with other people."

"I do have to talk to people at times."

"Hmm, maybe I should try that too! I mean, Tahm always likes to talk, but Pix says he only wants to bring me to a different land and then eat me after giving me everything I wish for. That's horrible!"

"So it is," said Vladimir "you should not hang out with him. But the other yordles are fine. I've met most of them before, and they are much more respectable."

"That's true! Tahm is a liar. A good liar, so it's bad! It's good, but it's bad! Aha!"

"But really, Lulu," said Vladimir, beginning to walk his way back home "that's about all of Noxus," except for the more disturbing parts "if you're no longer interested, just let me know."

"Hmm… can I go there?" asked Lulu, pointing at the Rose's (secret) entrance.

Vladimir raised an eyebrow.

"I'm really sorry, Lulu, but I'm afraid not."

"Why? It seems fun! Can't I come in?"

"I don't think that'd be advisable, Lulu. And it's not so much of a fun place."

"So you're not allowed to let me in."

"Well, no."

"That's not fair! I know about the Rose! Why should I not go there?"

Vladimir smiled

"You'd think of something. But not today, I'm afraid. There's been enough mind games for me today. Shall we not head back home? I can't wait to try out Morgana's tuiles."

* * *

 **Original character bio**

Ellen Paige: Black Rose's only techmaturgical mage, who can synthesize her mana with her technological devices. Ellen was born in Zaun and studied hextech at Piltover. Intrigued by the Noxian society and its magic culture she left her studies in Piltover and joined the Rose under LeBlanc's invitation. She became the Black Rose's hextech advisor and befriended the mysterious Mary. Her techmaturgical devices are capable of conducting mana, thus greatly amplifying her spells and adding different designed effects.

Mary: a fragment of Valoran broken from the land since ancient times. She has the ability of a Celestial but lacks the sense of purpose usually seen in one (like Bard or Soraka). Why she decided to be a part of the Rose remains mysterious. Mary is capable of seeing through the whole world and touching any mind within.

Actually I've also made abilities concept for both of them, but I'm bad at League, and it's got nothing to do with the story.


	6. A dinner between friends ft Elise

**A dinner between friends**

Elise drops by for a meal.

Chronologically happens after the previous installment (sigh). I know, I know, I don't like it either. I just want to get all the ones I've written long ago up there... so I'm sorry.

Amazing is amazing and is always amazing.

Characters: Vlad, Lulu, Elise.

* * *

"Oh hey! You're still babysitting, I see." The Spider Queen laughed, taking her seat on a couch without any invitation.

The blood mage grunted

"Elise," he said, slowly "Take the front door, please."

Elise smirked at him.

"Where's the little devil?"

"In the kitchen, she said she'd be making dinner."

"Oh! Is that safe?"

Vladimir shrugged. He passed her a glass of white wine.

"What's the worst that can happen? Being turned into the dish? You are what you eat, anyway."

Elise was surprised for like, a second.

"Wow, Vlad, I did not expect that you'd take after the yordle."

"She has a name, Elise."

"Fine, Lulu. My point stands."

"It's just taking up different perspectives. You will see that Lulu sees wonders in everything. Nonetheless, if you want to avoid polymorphing food, you should be seeking refuge like, right now. If you don't…"

"Mr. Vlad! Dinner is ready!" Lulu called, walking into the room with two dishes levitating in the air "oh, the Amazing Spider-woman!"

Elise, who was now a Spider, was in the midst of repelling. She sighed, if only she was a second quicker.

She dropped down the couch and morphed back into human form.

"My name is Elise, you can start using it,' said Elise, staring pointedly at the Hemomancer.

Vladimir gave her a drowsy smile.

Lulu set the two dishes on the table.

"Mr. Vlad, you didn't say you invited the Amazing Spider-woman."

"Because I didn't," said Vladimir with a smile "she invited herself. As she always does,"

"It's alright, I've already eaten."

"Hmm…" Lulu hummed, as if debating something. She was staring, with wide green eyes, at the Spider Queen, and gave the latter some goose bumps.

She frowned comically.

"Mr. Vlad, would you please wait a moment? I do have some spare food."

"I said…"

"Ah! You don't lie to me!" said Lulu in a cautionary tone.

Elise stared at the yordle in shock.

Vladimir nodded to her.

"Alright! Then please wait a moment, Spider-woman Elise!"

* * *

"How did she do that?"

Vladimir couldn't hide the smug "I-told-you-so" look on his face.

"Elise dear, you've got to be more specific. Lulu does a lot of stuffs, most of which wouldn't make much sense."

"How did she know I didn't have dinner?" Elise asked flatly.

"The real question should be 'Why didyou _not_ have dinner?'"

Elise huffed

"It's the Harrowing."

"Oh. Have you harvested any soul?"

"Vlad, I'm not dead… yet." She deadpanned "anyway, all the supplies have been scarce. None of the suppliers would dare arrive at the island. Heck, they would not even work! How am I supposed to gather fresh ingredients for my culinary masterpieces? Freaking Hecarim…"

"Killed off those who actually dared to cross the border on the day?" he asked nonchalantly.

"You guess." Elise sighed "sometimes I do wonder if I should move back to land."

"You shouldn't," Vlad offered "but I'm surprised that you completely ran out of ingredients."

"Oh yeah, that. Evelynn stole the rest. I do hate her shadow walk sometimes – next time I'll make sure to web my pantry. Now how did the yordle know?"

"She told you, you don't lie to her. As I've said, very few people would be able to lie to Lulu."

"Oh. That. I thought she could see through my stomach or something. She's still dangerous, though."

"Really? It could be. Who knows?"

"Is the food really safe?"

"I have no idea," said the Hemomancer without a care in the world "but she said she always cooked herself. As far as I'm aware yordle metabolism is not much different from human. Though if you have special allergies…"

"I don't. That's reassuring." Elise said with only a touch of sarcasm.

"Even if we do get turned into adorable critters, Lulu would be able to understand us anyway."

"Wait, she can understand us polymorphed?"

"Yes,"

"Well, damn."

"Here it is! The special portion for the amazing Spider-womann!" said Lulu excitedly.

"Lulu, why do you keep calling me "Amazing Spider-woman"?" asked Elise out of annoyance.

"Why, because amazing is amazing, and amazing!" she laughed "I had to come up with a name for you, Miss Elise! Because you kept calling me "yordle". It's rude not to call you with a nickname then."

"So… it's my fault?"

"Why, no! Amazing is still amazing, after all!" said Lulu "now let's eat!"

She hopped on the sofa Vladimir was sitting on and grabbed a dish. The Hemomancer did the same. Elise had no choice but to take the last meal.

When she removed the lid, she was surprised to find a perfectly cooked, seemingly normal beef steak, served with mashed potato, mushroom and garlic. There were a lot of shrooms and garlic.

It did smell good.

The other two were eating up the dish with gusto.

"Vlad? You like garlic?" asked Elise in disbelief.

Vladimir replied immediately

"Of course! Garlic is good! Oh wait…"

Lulu looked up at Vladimir questioningly. Then a second later…

"Ah! I see," the yordle giggled.

Vladimir hit his face with his hand

"Elise, Lulu, please, I am not a vampire." He spoke every word slowly "and garlic is delicious!"

"Really?" asked Lulu "I never knew that."

"Did… _you_ think I was a vampire?"

"Yeah! You were all blood and moody and I thought you must be one. Though Pix said you weren't… but you do draw out blood and drink them, don't you?"

"I don't drink blood, I _absorb_ it. There's a difference! Elise, stop laughing!"

Elise tried to recover from her fit of laughter.

"You… I told you… everyone thinks you're a vampire. Even I was surprised when you weren't one."

"Well, I'm not. Get your fact straight. I'm a Hemomancer!"

The Spider Queen chuckled.

"Well, here I go…"

She began cutting at the steak calmly. Lulu was eating with a smile, looking at her in anticipation. Elise took a small bite with a piece of delicious-looking garlic-mushroom mashed potato and chewed on it carefully.

It was really, really good. Lulu was such a good cook. Elise couldn't have done better.

"It's… delicious. Thank you, Lulu."

Lulu beamed at her.

"But… this portion is quite big."

"Is it?" asked the purple yordle "you consume a lot of magic for transformation. You need a lot of energy."

"I have… other sustenance. I often eat little, only for the enjoyment."

"Well, it doesn't mean you can't eat. See, it's delicious!"

"Well, it is. But still, I'm not used to eating a lot."

Lulu seemed thoughtful.

"You know, I know a guy named Tahm Kench. He said "everything in this world desires to devour. Eating is a habit and a lust every single creature possesses". Therefore, we should eat!"

"I do eat. I just do not eat to live. Who's this Tahm Kench?"

"It's the River King," said Vladimir.

"Tahm is not a really nice guy. He just eats. And he lies to eat. He's a good liar, I say, but that's bad!"

"Oh, the self-claimed River King," said Elise "I've heard his tales before: the creature that could travel between the Rivers of the worlds. Myths never do stay myths in Valoran. Isn't he… a demon of some sorts?"

Vladimir shrugged "Probably."

"Nevertheless, I will finish this dish," Elise smiled a rare smile "after all, you put your heart to make it."

Lulu blinked "That's what he said as well "a good meal is one given with all your heart."

"I hope you're not drawing any parallels."

"Nope, I'm not drawing any parallels, at all! I have no pen!"

"Hmm, maybe you've got yourself a new friend," said the blood mage.

"That includes you, Vlad!"

"It's a possibility." The Hemomancer said after having eaten a large chunk of garlic. How did that much garlic ever end up on one plate? Elise was sure she could make ten times the normal mashed potato of that dish with such amount.

"I told Lulu I was really fond of garlic," Vladimir explained – he could just _read_ her sometimes. This friendship really cost Elise lots of thoughts, but she got used to Vlad guessing things from her face after a while "this is what she gives me."

That was what friends were supposed to do, right?

"Is that not quite overkill?"

"Meh, I like garlic, so it's fine. What you crave, it's never enough." He said, with a vague smile.

Elise looked at him for a while.

"I obviously missed something, didn't I?"

"Probably…"

"Oh! We had Miss Shauna Vayne here the other night," Lulu chimed in "she was injured after some evil fighting, and Mr. Vlad brought her here, where I was speaking to Talon."

After an initial 5 seconds freeze, which produced a chuckle from the blood mage, Elise began.

"Now, where do we start, Vlad?"

"Well, I learned of a magic cult that would probably piss Illaoi off beyond your beliefs. When I went for them they were already dead. And there you have it."

"So you decided to bring the person who wants you dead the most back to your home in the heart of Noxus and expected that to go well?"

"It's not exactly like that. For the record, I did _not_ expect that to go well."

"Oh my God, Vlad, what the hell were you thinking? I just cannot fathom any reason at all you'd like someone who wanted you dead in your house. I mean, really…"

"Thank you for your concern," said Vladimir with an irritating face.

"I am not concerned!"

"I'm alive, Elise. I was not afraid, at all, of death then."

"Do you underestimate the Night Hunter?"

"Not at all, I was aware of my capabilities. After all, I was then well-nourished and she exhausted. The possibility for her to overpower me was scarce."

Elise sighed, hitting her face with her hand

"You just have to choose her, don't you?"

"I have no idea what you are implying," said Vlad solemnly, despite being poked at by a disapproved Lulu.

The Spider Queen rolled her eyes

"For shame, Vlad. Of all the people you could have picked, it's got to be the toughest of them all. Are you a masochistic vampire?"

"Again, I'm not a vampire. Masochist… _maybe…_ I've not ruled out anything yet."

"What is a masochist?" asked Lulu.

Elise mumbled "Uh oh…"

"It's a person who derives sexual and emotional pleasure from being hurt and/or violated." _What the fuck Vlad?_

"Hmm, does not sound awfully like Mr. Vlad." Lulu said in an assertive tone "though you once told me you don't suffer as much pain as one may believe you do."

"Guess what he feels instead."

"I assure you, it's because I've been used to getting blood drawn out of my body. It was part of the training."

"You can spare us the details of your _bloody_ training." Elise deadpanned "we have a small girl here."

Vladimir physically recoiled in astonishment.

"Oh wow, the burn," he marveled "you see, everyone can burn."

"Fire burns!" Lulu agreed. "Everyone has fire."

"Oh, I am just _taking up a different perspective,"_ said Elise with a meaningful smile.

Vladimir put his hands up.

"Alright, I'll do the dishes. Lulu, if you would,"

Lulu swung her wand and the plates were levitated into the air, following Vladimir's back.

"Oh, and do keep my dearest friend in _a positive_ state. Her burns are really _draining."_

The yordle laughed wholeheartedly while Elise only shook her head.

"Vlad… never mind, we'll talk later."

"As you wish," said Vladimir with a blink. He reached down to ruff the yordle's hair "you are the best cook in the world, little devil. Up there with her."

Lulu giggled with glee. Elise offered a smile.

What a dinner between friends.

* * *

"Your blood type is really A plus (A positive), isn't it?" asked Lulu after Vlad had left "Amazing Spider-…"

"Elise would be sufficient, thank you, Lulu. But yes, amazing is still amazing. And yes, my blood type is A, Rh plus. Darn."

"Well, he always knows."

"Yeah, but I thought his blood type understandings were bollocks! Bollocks, I tell you."

"Uhm, of course! Pollocks are delicious fish."

"Not pollocks with a 'P'… never mind. Anyway, he said he's B negative and a 'universal recipient'. That's not true, that's impossible."

"Well," Lulu began slowly "both of the contradicting statements are true. Mr. Vlad can control the hemoglobin in his blood to form any blood type he wishes. Therefore, he _is_ a universal recipient, because he has no constant blood type. That is why he can draw out blood from nearly anything that has blood in it."

"So his blood type is not constant, it changes as he pleases. But it's got to be something, right?"

"Well, he said he defaulted it as AB positive, universal recipient alright, for ease of blood absorption. He can customize it in certain circumstances."

"So the B negative thing is just a pun?"

"He can B negative," said Lulu "the thing is, he thinks that was his blood type before the fusion of the Hemomancer."

The Spider Queen paused a moment to replay the information in her head

"Were we just talking about the technical perks of Hemomancy?"

"Well, yes," said Lulu as if it was too obvious.

"Well, forgive me if I was quite astonished of the fact I just discussed blood magic and its uses with a… never mind again. Vlad never really told me those stuffs."

To think about it, their friendship was never founded on sharing personal information. He knew she was an immortal (sort of) spider hybrid living off Vilemaw's venom, and she knew he enjoyed killing and became the house of the Hemomancer (except that he still seemed very individualistic). Their experience of each other's past ended there, and it was their mutual respect for each other's point of view that made them comfortable in each other's presence. Had that really been friendship?

Elise always considered him valued company and a friend, but to tell the truth they'd not known much about each other. In retrospect, she did not know much about him. She had no idea how much he knew.

And maybe she was just slightly salted how he told a young… Lulu and not her. Just slightly salted.

"Well, you don't seem to share much about yourself, too." Lulu said, and the firmness in her voice was surprising. She sounded too wise for her age (though her age had been, technically, some hundred years) "I think everyone has their secrets, and Mr. Vlad is one to respect that. After all, your past does not fully reflect who you are. Perhaps Mr. Vlad respected and appreciated you as the person presented to him, not the person told to him. He chose to respect your privacy and to be receptive of what you would offer him. And I think if you had asked, he would have told you as readily as he told me."

"…thank you for the advice, Lulu."

"And that didn't change the fact that you two had common ground and understood each other pretty thoroughly. You don't even have troubles making blood puns – see, even I find it so incredible that Mr. Vlad could churn out those puns at such frequency."

Elise sighed, shaking her head.

"For the record, that is not the kind of habit I hoped to take after him."

"You see, Lulu, no one appreciates my grand humor," said Vladimir, leaning on the door with a vague smirk. _When did he get there?_ "there's only you and me."

"Well, I'm certainly not happy if those horrible puns just _flow_ out of me… well shit."

Vladimir and Lulu both laughed.

"Hey! That was an accident!"

"There are no accidents." Lulu pointed out wisely.

"I am certainly irresistible," said Vladimir drily.

"Even to the Night Hunter?"

"Apparently. She has been persistently coming after me, after all."

"Seriously though, are you really a masochist?"

"I said I've not ruled out anything yet."

"Well, you should seriously start taking into account the possibility."

"If something, it had to be the opposite. I've always enjoyed killing people out of nature. Then again, the satisfaction devised from the act isn't sexual at all. It's more emotional, if I'm to speak."

"But you are attracted to someone who wants all but you dead!"

"It does not mean I want her to do those nasty stuffs to me."

"But I bet you like her for that."

"Well, that is _partly_ true. But I still don't want her to puncture several holes in my body. The substance she uses in her bolts – it hinders mana transfusion. My healing capabilities at worst can be dropped down by half."

"Silvertinker," said Lulu "the silver flowers that bloom in the full moon. It is poisonous for its inhibition of mana flow. How she got her hands on them, I don't know."

"I heard of that too. It grows a lot on the Isles. Are you trying to chicken out on me?"

"I'm not! What more do you want to know?"

Elise sighed in exasperation.

"I want to know if you'd be safe. If there's something I don't trust, it is _vengeance._ While you have never had any of it in real life, Shauna Vayne holds an excessive amount. And Vengeance is a searing flame that shall burn down even the toughest fortifications. Unlike LeBlanc, I don't underestimate Vengeance in its wake. She can hurt you."

"Thank you for your concern," said Vladimir, now in a sincere, almost gentle tone.

"Damn it, Vlad, you are one obstinate son of a…"

"I said 'thank you'," he repeated "I know what the risk is. But, for once, the world seems much more to me. That is not a bad thing, isn't it?"

"Well, if she tries to hurt you, then…"

Vladimir smiled

"Who am I to stop you, your Spidey Highness?"

"Say what?"

Lulu snickered.

"Nothing, your venomous Majesty,"

"Oh no, Vlad," the Spider Queen sighed "not the puns."

"As you wish, your arachnid ladyship. By the way, it's not even a pun."

Elise rolled her eyes.

"Very funny,"

"Thank you."

….

"You're welcome."

 **END.**

I'd like to think of Vlad and Elise as colleagues who are interested in each other, which in turn produced what I deem an interesting friendship. Vladimir considers Elise his equal, which prompted him to act a little more discreet on grounds both felt comfortable with. Nevertheless, that did not really stop them from understanding each other's traits and tendencies, which allows them to subconsciously deduce what the other was thinking and doing.


	7. Unlikely friend ft Varus

**Unlikely friend**

In tandem with Lulu's arrival to Demacia, Vladimir ran into an acquaintance himself.

Characters: Vladimir the Hemomancer, Varus the Arrow of Retribution.

* * *

"Thank you for taking me here," Lulu laughed, looking at him one last time before stalking off to her friend "I'll come by next month. In the mean time, stay safe, 'kay?"

The blood mage laughed. Of all the people in the world…

"I'll miss you, little devil. But run along now. I don't think you should keep her waiting."

With a last tip of the hat, the yordle bowed and left. Vladimir himself began heading in the opposite direction. No more nice, quirky companion to talk too – that was just great.

He paused after a while, his senses alert to a familiar _sensation._ Yes, he'd felt this before. Subconsciously, he reached out to his magic.

It still responded. Good.

The presence did not seem willing to make a move. Vladimir sighed. He let his magic concentration loose and began striding again.

"Varus," he spoke, his tone flat. The mage's step did not falter.

He could hear an arrow being drawn in the dark.

"Let us quit the usual formalities, shall we?" Vlad offered, still walking on "what are you doing in Demacia?"

The tall man sidestepped in time to dodge one red arrow. Its power was weak, uncharged, which he took as greeting from the other man.

He looked back to the place the arrow was allegedly shot from. Varus's arrows pierce, therefore it was not that hard.

Varus's silhouette loomed, only his eyes slightly glowed in the night.

Vladimir turned to look at the tree where the arrow had hit. It had begun to wither.

"Careful with that arrow of yours," Vladimir gestured "despite how it looks, it does nasty stuffs."

"Vladimir," the archer stated. His voice still retained human-like qualities, yet had an alien ring to it. "I can ask you the same."

"I came to say goodbye to my friend," said Vladimir "mostly to ensure that she'd arrive at the location as soon as possible."

He could feel a brief smirk

"Yeah, she's a handful," there was almost a playful edge to his statement.

"You've met her?" said Vladimir conversationally.

"Of course. I do suspect that everyone seems to have run into her at some point."

"True, almost for me," Vlad answered, for he doubted Lulu was really "acquainted" with LeBlanc "she must have tried to befriend you as well."

"Of course, she was always vibrant, full of energy. She always insisted on my 'cheering up', saying that the dark thing is unhealthy for me. There was one time she seemed sad, that was when she knew who I was. She said…"

"I know that you've suffered, and I am truly sorry, but this world has too many wonders for anyone to turn their back to it."

He could feel Varus's astonishment.

"She… told you?"

"Yeah, as I said, we're friends."

"The likes of you?" Varus asked harshly.

It wasn't meant to be an insult, it was the truth. Both of them knew it.

"Aren't we all murderers, Varus?"

The Corruption Bearer stayed silent

"You should not have… done that," said he slowly "she's too pure."

Vladimir shook his head

"You're looking at her like she's oblivious to the outside world. Do you think she has no idea what truly is happening around her?"

A brief pause…

"Does she?"

"Yes. She knows. She just processes it a bit _differently_. And she always makes the effort of being friendly and caring despite such knowledge. That is why I treasure her friendship – I can always trust her."

There was a small thud, and Varus landed down in front of him. The Corruption encased the man, its tendrils wavered about, yet unable to escape the man's body. Vladimir regarded it with a pique of interest before eventually looking at Varus again.

"You seem well enough," he offered.

"Apparently," Varus replied.

Indeed, though he now looked more and more inhuman, a warrior's proud and noble statue was still perceivable, and Vladimir almost felt sorry for the man. But he knew it was neither needed nor his business. He couldn't judge.

"I sometimes wonder how you could have been a homicidal blood mage, despite being quite likable."

"Are you too implying I am a likeable character?"

"Yes. The fact that you befriended Lulu should speak as much."

"I'm flattered," Vladimir smirked.

"And annoying too, if I may add."

"Elise said as much."

Varus gave a brief smile.

"Shall we continue our walk?"

"Sure. The border is just around the corner."

They kept on walking through the dark woods. The cold of the night didn't bother them the slightest.

"The forest…" the archer began. Vladimir realized he was offering an answer to the former's question "it keeps my head clear."

"Ionia doesn't help?"

"Ionia is… sometimes too much."

"I see."

"I am a hunter, Vladimir, being in a forest helps me gain a sense of control. The border woods work well for that. I come here when _issues_ arise. Ionia is… sometimes it's too sacred for my presence, sometimes it will only make my… condition worse."

The blood mage nodded. He could not claim sympathy. He'd never lost much. At least, he'd never lost anything that valuable… since he had none.

"The darkness and the silence often help," Varus continued "and when I see the lights of Demacia, I can be reminded of humanity… of the reason I am doing this."

The man determination burned, it was hard to look at. Great characters do indeed come from tragedies.

"Do you remember the first time we met?" asked Varus.

"Oh yeah, why not? I do swear never to step a foot outside Noxus again," said Vladimir sheepishly "I seem to attract all sorts of sacred entities' attention along the way."

Varus gave him a pointed look.

"I would hardly consider this _sacred._ "

"Well, yeah, but it is still supernatural. I'm sure at some point it was considered sacred as well."

"I doubt it."

Ah, the infamous Ionian humorlessness strikes again.

"To each their own. Yes, I remember our first meeting. You were intent on having me lay dead," Vladimir smirked "I can't blame you. Many want to do that."

"Because you are Noxian… you are the subject of my vengeance."

"Varus… your hate for Noxians, is it…?"

"It is. It can't be done. I can't let it go."

Vladimir only nodded

"However it gets difficult," the archer continued "when you begin to look at it closer. Humans do not like to stay ignorant long; however pleasant the feeling. Back then, I accepted this to exact revenge upon Noxus, for having destroyed everything I had. But in doing so, I ceased to regard Noxians as… people…"

"You do not care about how your enemy feels. To you, they don't feel."

"But they _do._ And when you begin to see it, you can't seem to do it anymore. There're no absolutes in this world – every Noxian I killed, they must each have had led a story, each must have felt, laughed, cried. And why would my cause be just, if I were to rob all of theirs away?"

Vladimir acquiesced. Sometimes ignorance could only go so far. Knowledge would hurt, but inevitable.

"If so, then what am I doing?"

"You have every right to. Our nation has wronged your people."

"It does not mean I could do that, does it?"

"Not necessarily. But if you wish for my death, I will respect that. I won't despise you. It will not mean I will accept death without a fight."

Varus laughed

"You are really strange, Vladimir. You don't seem to _hate_ anything, which is ridiculous for a homicidal blood mage… but…"

"I kill people for enjoyment, Varus. It's not exactly the brightest character you'd look for."

"Still, you don't hate. I stand correct. You don't hate anything, while I spend the last few years of my life hating. And where does that lead? Even more burdens to bear."

The last words were spoken with bitterness.

"It's an interesting psycho-analysis, Elise would certainly agree. Now that I consider it, it is valid, to a degree." He'd lusted, he'd killed, he'd feared, but he never hated. "What does 'hate' feel like?"

"Hate… is a flame. It burns. It gives you a desperate drive. It brings power. But it does not stop. It will drain the last of your energy and sanity. It clouds your mind, turning you into a beast."

"You're lucky," said Vladimir after a moment of silence.

Varus looked at him in astonishment.

"You can feel. I cannot. I've never… had anyone who cared. I only know of blood, death, and all that follows. You had someone who loved you, so that you can hate us. The opposite of love is apathy… I've not had gentleness, warmth, companionship for a long time. To me, Varus, you are a lucky man."

"Because I have what you do not?"

"How would you define lucky otherwise?" Vladimir smiled.

Varus stared up the starry sky

"The stars are bright tonight."

"Indeed."

"If you don't have it, perhaps you will not fear losing it," said Varus quietly, lost in his thoughts "no one owns the stars, so they will never be lost to me."

"You're right."

"I want to avenge them. I desperately do. But who was supposed to be responsible? Finally, no one was truly responsible…"

The Hemomancer sighed

"You want me to pull a Lulu or a me?"

"You can choose what philosophical version you want now?" asked Varus, amusement in his tone.

"Lulu will probably tell you to look at the world and find wonders within it. But granted, it is not as easy as it sounds. So I'd probably say… it's best to… not think too hard about it sometimes. It's quite ignorant, you can say, but you don't have to try defining everything in your life. You'll fail. Then, you may be able to find some 'wonders' to yourself."

"You are becoming Lulu," Varus commented "you're changing."

Well, yeah, I noticed. You've changed too. I don't think the Varus before would want to discuss life philosophies with a Noxian homicidal blood mage."

The corrupted archer drew an arrow

"I sincerely wish you won't lose them, your wonders," he said "just, Vladimir, don't take them for granted. You'll never know when it would be the last time…"

Was it regret he'd heard?

"Thank you, Varus. I may not… deserve to say this, but… I'm sorry."

There was a frown on the archer's face, but he nodded curtly

"You are just as human as any of us, then."

The mage gave him a smirk

"I've been told it's not exactly a bad thing. I'm trying to capitalize on it."

"Until next time, Vladimir," the archer said, holding out a hand. His pale skin seemed to glow under the moonlight.

He shook Vladimir's hand firmly.

"You too,"

Varus gave him a last smile before walking off into the woods.

Vladimir smiled softly to himself as he continued walking towards Noxus.

Tonight was indeed a beautiful night.

 _If you don't have it, perhaps you will not fear losing it._

 _No one owns the stars, so they will never be lost to me._

He wondered what the man had seen in the stars, every night.

Did he see hope, comfort, or serenity?

Or was it only the admiration of its beauty?

Because it certainly felt that way to Vladimir himself.

 **END.**


	8. Lulu vs Tahm Kench

**Lulu vs. Tahm Kench**

A small attempt at getting into the Fae Sorceress's head.

* * *

"There's someone over there!" Lulu said, pointing towards the streams. It was yet another walk in the woods for the Fae Sorceress, who never seemed to get bored of her little explorations. Tristana had asked her to bring back some fungi for her dinner called "hotpot", with the condition that they must be edible in the common sense. Lulu had been used to this criteria, and rarely ever violated it, except for the one time she brought back something that made Teemo giggle uncontrollably for a while, and even though Lulu was very open to any idea, hearing Teemo laugh like that again was not high on her list.

Pix's gaze followed her pointing finger and the fae almost dropped.

"We have to go, Lulu," he said, urgently, but Lulu wasn't even listening.

"Come now, Pix! Let's go say hi!"

"Lulu!"

You thought only yordles and humans had troubles with Lulu? Sometimes even the fae himself was afraid of this girl's guts.

Lulu shuffled towards this "someone", who turned out to be a grey mass of slippery skin. Lulu had never seen someone like that anymore, which only prompted her curiosity.

"Salutations!" she declared.

The grey mass turned around, revealing a creature that'd make many take a step back. Such a thing never bothered Lulu anyway. She had no qualms about talking to a giant humanoid catfish wearing a tuxedo and a fedora, not at all.

"A yordle," said the creature, his voice deep and resounding. There was a hint of mockery and arrogance in his voice, which Lulu didn't fail to notice. "I almost forgot this woods is close to your establishment." The creature rubbed its "hands" together "well, well, child, what do we have here."

"My name is Lulu," she introduced, giving out her hand. The creature seemed surprised at the gesture "I'm a Sorceress."

"You may call me Tahm Kench. It's borrowed, but gets the point across."

"Pleased to meet you, Mister Kench," Lulu smiled cheerily at him.

Tahm Kench did not shake her hand, but he laughed.

"A yordle sorceress, now isn't that a sight for sore eyes? Tell me, child, how did this come to be?"

He offered her to sit next to him, and she complied. She liked talking to people, and this Tahm Kench creature made her curious. He seemed to know a lot more than what he was showing, and there was just something off about his ensemble.

Next to her ears, Pix was pestering her to leave. For some reason he wasn't as curious as she was about Tahm.

"Come now, Pix," said Lulu, telepathically, "That's not polite!"

"If you know who he is, politeness is a stretch."

"Why are you so anxious? He seems fine. At least he couldn't hurt me."

Then she turned to Tahm Kench and began her story.

"Well, I was playing one day near the woods when I encountered my friend!" she said, taking her hat off to introduce Pix, but the fae wisely clung to its inside, refusing to come out. This frustrated Lulu, and she frowned "Come now, Pix, that is no way to act!"

Tahm Kench seemed to have realized his presence.

"You have a fae? Why, so many surprises in one evening! What do you seek that brings you out of the Glade?"

"He wants to explore Valoran," Lulu explained "I'm sorry, Pix is really picky of strangers."

"Is the fae your companion?"

"He's my friend. He taught me really cool magic!"

Tahm Kench scrutinized the yordle

"For a yordle this powerful, aren't you quite young?"

"My parents didn't say anything. They died a long time ago."

She looked up at Tahm Kench to find him quite astonished.

"Why are you surprised?" she asked.

The creature laughed.

"Indeed yordles are impeccable creatures. Child, how did your parents die?"

Lulu frowned.

"I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"Because he's a Demon! He's the River King!" Pix warned "all he wants is to deceive you. Do not trust him."

Lulu disagreed with this statement, but the name clung to her.

"The River King?" she wondered out loud.

"Oh yes, that is what I'm called. Your fae knows his stuff."

"Of course, it's Pix. Pix knows many things," Lulu replied automatically, she was still trying to grasp the meaning behind "Demon" and "River King". "What do you do as the River King? Do you talk to fish?"

Tahm Kench chuckled heartily.

"I can talk to all sorts of creature. But normally I don't talk to creatures, creatures come talk to me. I can travel the River of the world, child. There's no place on this plane I cannot reach, there's not a land I have no sway on."

"The… River of the world?"

"The world is just one big River, Lulu, and I'm its King. I come to those who crave, I give them what they want, and I take what I give."

Lulu tilted her head.

"Then basically you give nothing away, huh?"

"Why, nothing in the world is given away, child. If you let me in, you pay the price."

The "Demon" looked at Lulu again.

"For example, yordle, what is the one thing you desire more than anything in this life? Do you desire to come back to your parents?"

Lulu blinked.

"Uh… no? You are a handful with words," she said "I want to find the white cotton mushroom, though. Tristana wants to make something called hotpot, and she asked me to find some edible mushrooms. Pix said that was one of the finest mushrooms in Valoran."

"You don't need my power to do that," said Tahm Kench, sounding just a little bit peeved "the mushrooms grow aplenty by the river banks."

Lulu raised an eyebrow.

"I never said I needed your power. Traveling by foot is better." She said "you're weird. Thank you, nevertheless."

She stood up, giving him one last nod before heading towards the fungi.

"He was an odd fellow," she told Pix, skipping "what was the fuss earlier? You were acting strange."

Pix blinked.

"You dealt with him surprisingly well. Are yordles just generally good at dealing with him, or do you really…"

"What?"

"Never mind."

"He can travel to places, right? What's so bad with that?"

"Traveling the world is just one of his abilities. The so-called Tahm Kench is a Demon – someone feeding off the products of mankind. He's quite a powerful one, even. His power isn't just restricted to one plane of reality; he can affect many others, even timelines. That's how he sustains himself: he gives men what they desire, and then comes to eat them."

"Eat men? Ew!"

"Yuck, indeed," Pix agreed "fae feels very uncomfortable in his presence. The River King is a gluttonous creature, as much as what he represented. He eats anything and everything he gets his hand on, and yet still not sated. Much like the greed and vices of mankind…" the fae's voice turned morose.

"Hmm, now that you mentioned it, something is off about him. He was not exactly lying to me, but I feel like there's more to what he implies."

"He can give you what you desire, that is true, but he lies about what indulging him would result in. Some of his tales even reached the Glade, how the vulnerable, ambitious one would choose the easy way out, and perish because of it."

"Really?" asked Lulu, picking at the fluffy mushrooms by the riverbank "can you tell me some of those tales?"

"Of course, my lovely friend, why don't we start with the story of his namesake – Tahm Kench. No, it's not the guy. Tahm Kench is only a borrowed name, after all."

* * *

Tahm Kench approached the yordle after she'd gathered up all the mushrooms she needed. The girl was setting up a small camp fire with magic and roasting what she'd gathered. Her green eyes were fixated on the flame, and only looked up as she felt his presence approaching. She smiled at him, yet this smile spoke of awareness. She knew.

"Tahm," she addressed the creature "I heard you like to eat. Do you want some mushrooms?"

The River King couldn't help but laugh at the gesture.

"Thank you, child,"

Then he proceeded to toss the whole skewer into his mouth. Lulu also bit off one mushroom from her own.

"Very delicious," he said "a good meal is what's given with your heart. I've hardly been offered a meal _willingly."_

"Well, if you'd only talk to people rather than deceiving them…"

"People do not give out meals, I know how people do." he paused "You know who I am, Lulu. Why?"

Lulu didn't answer this inquiry. Instead, she turned her look to the blazing fire.

"That's not everything. Mankind is not only vice, greed and selfishness. They are also noble, kind, lovely, heartwarming, and always trying their best to live on, comprehending the universe around them. You can't see that because that is not what you seek."

"That is… an interesting point of view." Tahm admitted, but he did not agree. Mankind was all those things because they craved something. He'd seen countless generations of men come and go, and the pattern never changed. They'd always desire what was beyond their grasp.

"You are also a creature of vice, and you know it," Lulu continued "you cannot stop, and you don't think you should. It's about your survival, after all. But don't lie about it."

"Your fae told you, didn't he?"

Lulu nodded, taking another bite. The River King went on

"Truth is, mankind is born to be tempted. They live fleeting lives, and yet want too much out of it."

"Would you not want to understand the world around you?" Lulu asked "if you only existed so brief an amount of time, only to be returned to dust, would you not wonder, why I was here, where I was from, and where I would go? I'd say mankind's journey towards understanding itself and the universe it lived in has been incredible. Don't you think their efforts and achievements were astounding and respectable, even if they still lack certain clarity that you possess?"

Tahm's eyes narrowed at her statement. Ah, if only _he_ was there to hear this statement. He wondered what that creature would have said in response.

"Child, that is not something any of us can answer so easily. I, for example, still lack quite some clarity on this world… it does not matter though, as you say, that is not my job. The thing is, mankind is greedy…"

"Ambitious,"

"…selfish, self-centered, lacking a broader view in the world. Like all before them, I live off their products. All demons do the same."

"I know. I'm not blaming you. That does not mean I'll indulge you."

"Of course, all yordles are like that. They're in control of their will to live and die. They are not as restricted as humans when it comes to comprehending the world. You are a prime example. As a result, they negate my presence. Nevertheless, they were not without desires. Unlike you, who had none."

Lulu's eyebrows shot up.

"I do have desires!" she said defensively "I want to travel the world. I want to meet new people, and want to learn new things. I want to eat every dessert in Runeterra." She said proudly, looking up to see what the River King would say of her desires.

"Oh child, that is not what people often come to me for."

"They're pretty respectable goals of my life!" Lulu said indignantly "seriously though, do people not want that?"

"No."

"…what _do_ they want, then?"

"Happiness,"

"Everyone wants that!"

"Money, recognition, fame, love," Tahm Kench said "the list goes on, little one."

…

"So… people are not just happy to live and enjoy living, learning more about themselves and the world around them?"

"No, that is not what they often do. Each may define their 'happiness' differently, yet very few believe living itself is a happiness, like you. You're a very special one."

Was living itself not happiness? You could not be happy that you were alive?

The Fae Sorceress finished the rest of her skewer. The mushroom was delicious, but she didn't pay it much attention. So not everyone in this world was happy. Not everyone could see wonders in everything. No wonder they all appeared grumpy and uninteresting to her.

"Don't you want to come back to your world, child?" the Demon asked out of the blue.

"What, the Glade?" Lulu blinked.

"No, your own time," answered the Demon "you can see your parents and old friends again. I can help you."

It would be… understandable if she longed for home. In rare moments she actually did. But she never actually craved coming back.

Home was where she made it. And she made this place, this time her home.

And if she were to disappear for another hundred years, then that to-be world would be her home.

Anytime and anywhere, she'd be able to live and learn. Anytime and anywhere, she'd be able to find friends. Because no matter what time it was, people hardly changed. They would always be kind, resourceful, ambitious, and lovely. That would never change.

"No." she answered simply.

Tahm Kench nodded. For once, he no longer sounded arrogant and mocking. He spoke with a carefully hidden interest and admiration.

"So it is."

"But I do want one thing."

"What is it?"

"I want everyone to be happy."

…

The creature snorted "That is impossible, child. No matter how much power you hold, even if you are able to affect the very fabric of the universe, you can't make everyone happy."

"I know. If I were to have such power, then I would not want to make people happy. That is something you can't do."

"So can't you."

"Is that so?"

Tahm raised an eyebrow (if he did have one)

"Is that your intention, little one?"

"I believe everyone deserves to be happy, and that they can choose to be happy. From now on, I will help them make that choice. I will help them choose happiness," she said earnestly "I will not let them choose you."

The River King burst out laughing, out of amusement rather than mockery. How one could propose such a fruitless idea, and actually sounded like they could actually do it.

He knew the yordle before him would not back down. She was the Fae Sorceress. She'd do anything she wanted.

"Is this a challenge, Fae Sorceress?"

"Indeed," Lulu grinned.

"Well, well, let's see," said Tahm Kench "if we do cross path again, Fae Sorceress, I will remember your words."

"Of course you will. Demons do not forget."

"Indeed we don't," Tahm agreed "Farewell, Lulu, until we meet again."

"Bye! Next time I'll bring you another meal!"

Tahm's laughter was her only reply as the River King plunged down a portal and disappeared.

"Alright, we've got what we want! Let's go home. Trist is gonna be super happy with these mushrooms!"

The girl began skipping home, humming to herself, promptly ignoring her fae companion's groan

"Darn, you just have to do that, don't you?"

END.

* * *

Man, if Aurelion Sol and Lulu were ever to talk, that'd be damn interesting.


	9. What is love? Part I

**What is love?**

So Bad writing collection has officially become my most viewed/most favorited/most followed/most reviewed work, surpassing the one about the Evillious Chronicles some years ago (yay!) (by 200 views). Thank you so much for reading and taking a liking to my plot-less conversations-full stories, as well as spending the time to comment on my writing.

In the light of this significant event, I've decided to celebrate Hollywood style! Which is, for those who don't get it (I'm guessing everyone), the decision to include romantic relationship portrayals and split this next installment into (un)necessary two parts. That's right: we are getting two parts of cliché cheesiness, just like what Hollywood is doing with its movies nowadays. Yay?

Disclaimer: I do not officially endorse any pairings mentioned within this two-part story (it's named "What is love?". Of course it's gonna have some pairings). This is simply a thought experiment for me. I suck at pairings, anyway, so this doesn't matter. Move on.

* * *

I. Crush?

Even someone as energetic as Lulu would have one of those "lazy days" once in a while. Those were the days you were not inclined to do anything but staying indoors, lying on your bed and chilling out all day long. It was totally understandable. Everyone had one of those days once in a while. Attaining those days, however, was never easy.

That particular day was a "lazy day" for the Fae Sorceress. She was simply not interested in going out and exploring new things as she normally was. Her friend Hemomancer also just lent her a super interesting book detailing human knowledge about the history of magic, which she was really eager to read. And so the young yordle was lying on the sofa in Tristana's living room, reading from her book with her companion hovering above, while her flat-mate was about to go out.

"Oh, Lulu?" she heard Tristana asked "you're staying in today?"

"Yeah," Lulu replied absentmindedly, completely absorbed in the book "have fun at work, Trist."

The Bandle Gunner raised an eyebrow at Lulu's unusual… normalcy that morning before eventually laughing. Everyone deserved to be lazy sometimes.

"I see," said Tristana, picking up her explosive cannon "well, you too. Can you make lunch?"

"Sure," Lulu turned and smiled at her.

"Splendid, I'll be going. See ya!"

After the door to the small house shut close, Lulu went back to reading her book quietly. Pix was resting on top of her hat, which she laid on the floor. It was a rare, completely peaceful and silent morning for the infamously energetic yordle.

Or so it seemed.

A while later, the sound of knocking on a door began registering in her ears. She looked up from her book – did Trist forget anything? – before casting a spell at the entrance. The door burst open.

"Oh, wow!" the yordle at the door jumped back. Lulu recognized the voice.

"Teemo?" asked Lulu, sitting up.

"Oh, it's you, Lulu," said Teemo, regaining his stance "uh, is Tristana home?"

"No, it's border duty day for her. I thought you knew that," said the sorceress with the slightest hint of annoyance. Somehow she was feeling displeased.

Teemo didn't seem to have caught that.

"Just wanna make sure… so can I come in?"

"Sure," Lulu replied. She turned back to her book again. Teemo came inside and closed the door. He reluctantly sat down on one of the chairs, glancing around somewhat reluctantly.

They continued to say like that for the next two minutes, with Teemo expecting Lulu to say something and Lulu seemingly oblivious to his expectations. As Lulu finally moved to turn a page, Teemo began again.

"So… do you have time?"

Lulu frowned. What kind of a question was that? Of course she had time. Everyone does!

"You seem busy, so…"

"Well, I'm reading, so yes, I guess." Lulu said rather curtly. She needed to finish this book as soon as possible – Mr. Vlad would visit her soon, and she wanted to discuss it with him.

Teemo blinked at this sudden change.

"Uhm… sorry. You could've said that when I was at the door."

His intention was finally occurring to Lulu. In a split second, her attitude switched from aloofness to the usual excited curiosity.

"You wanted to talk to me?"

Teemo snorted, seemingly realized what she meant. Lulu must have never received a guest before.

"Yes, you thought I didn't? Why would I want to enter the house then?"

Lulu shrugged.

"I thought you wanted to wait for Trist."

The yordle sat up to face Teemo, listening attentively.

"Well, how may I help you?" she asked, helpfully.

The Swift Scout seemed to have grown… reluctant.

"Can you… not tell Tristana?"

"Why?"

"Well… you see… I want to find a present for her… and since you live with her, do you know what she likes?"

Lulu frowned again.

"Why can't I tell that to Tristana?"

"Uhm… so I can surprise her?"

That made sense, Lulu thought. But why did he seem so awkward? That was weird.

"Calm down, don't be so nervous," she said "let me see… what does Trist like? She mostly talks about weapons and explosives and oh, shooting things! Maybe you can get her a gun?"

"I don't think I can really afford a better gun with my paychecks," said Teemo.

"Oh, right. How about food? Tristana really likes pies, especially apple pies!"

"…what about… other things? Does she like books or accessories… or, you know?"

"Nothing in particular – she doesn't read much, and doesn't use accessories. She's a gunner, after all. What's the occasion?"

"Eh?"

"It's not her birthday, yet." Lulu explained "I thought people often give each other gifts on special occasions, such as birthdays."

"Well… it's not exactly a special 'occasion'… will you not tell Tristana please?"

"Okay… if you want to."

"Okay… I sorta have a… crush on her."

The scout looked up to face an expression of utter confusion.

"What's a crush?" she finally voiced her question.

Teemo's face fell.

"It's like, I like her?"

"Of course you do. She's your friend. I like her too!"

"It's not like that. It's a… different thing."

"How so?"

"It's like… when you want to pursue a relation… when you want to go on a date, with her."

"What's a date?"

"It's… uh, never mind. Pies, huh? Thanks for your help."

Teemo sighed. He stood up and in the blink of an eye left the house.

Lulu stared at the spot where he used to sit incredulously.

"That was weird." She declared, before digging into her book again.

* * *

She didn't get far, as five minutes later there were loud noises outside the door. Something heavy seemed to be moving in her direction. Its movement seemed to make the ground shake with every step. The tremor disturbed Pix from his rest, which made him issue a series of complaints in fae tongue.

The presence seemingly stopped in front of her door. A few moments later, someone knocked on it.

Lulu eyed the door strangely. Did Tristana get these many visitors a day just by staying at home?

She grabbed the wand and cast the door open.

The yordle at the door jumped back.

Lulu stared at him. She didn't know this person. He had sky blue fur and brown eyes, and seemed to be surprised as well.

"Hi!" she greeted "pleased to meet you!"

The blue yordle blinked.

"Hey," he said "you're not Tristana."

"Obviously," said Lulu "she's on border duty today. You can wait… what's that?"

She pointed behind the yordle. To her it seemed like a giant bulk of metal blocking the doorway.

The yordle grinned proudly.

"Oh, this is my baby."

Lulu rushed out in alarm to see what kind of baby was so huge, before realizing the blue yordle didn't mean it literally. She found a giant metal statue without a head outside.

"Mechanical armor," the yordle introduced "handcrafted from the junkyard of Zaun. Enhanced with flame spitters, electrical harpoons and rocket ranges – meet Tristy."

Lulu blinked in surprise "Where?"

"Here!" he pointed up at the "mechanical armor".

"Oh! I thought you meant Tristana," the yordle blushed a little at that "that looks really cool! So what do you do with it? You ride it?"

"Yeah!" said the blue yordle "so… who are you?"

"Oh, I'm Lulu, the Fae Sorceress," she smiled, giving out her hand. The other shook it. "I'm currently Trist's flat-mate."

"I'm Rumble, uh… Junkyard Titan is what they call me, but you can just use Rumble. How do you do, Lulu?"

"I'm fine, thanks. How do you do, Rumble?"

"Feeling good," said Rumble "Tristana isn't home, you say?"

"Yeah, she'll be back for lunch, though. Come in, you can wait inside."

Rumble flustered, looking down at his feet. Only then did Lulu notice his hands were behind his back. That piqued her interest.

"It's okay… I only need to meet Tristy… I mean Tristana. I can wait out here, thanks."

Somehow both Rumble and Teemo were acting the same way. They were flustered, anxious, and stuttering, but obviously not because their lives were threatened. Lulu couldn't place why they were being so confused… afraid (of what?). It was unnatural, wasn't it?

Wait, Teemo said… what was that again? Oh, right! A crush.

"You… _have a crush on her?"_ asked Lulu out of the blue (or should that be out of the purple?).

Rumble suddenly went red, as if he was having a fever of sorts. This confused Lulu to no end.

"How… how did you know? Ah, darn, busted!"

Was having a crush such a bad thing? Why were they all upset that other people knew about it?

So she explained to Rumble how she came to such conclusions. At the end, the latter made a face she didn't know where to place: somewhere between disappointment and indignation.

"So Teemo… likes her too, huh? I knew it. I knew it!"

Lulu took half a step back. She could sense strong emotions rising from Rumble. It was… envy?

What the heck was going on?

"Of course, why did I think I had a chance?" his arms flailed about, and Lulu realized he was holding a beautiful bouquet.

"Is that for Trist?" she asked.

"What does that matter now? I can't be as cool as Teemo is to her. He's swift and cute and shoots darts…"

For the first time in forever, Lulu found herself in a place where everyone seemed to be speaking a completely foreign language.

"That's not true! You have a giant… metal robot? Don't look so beaten," Lulu tried to console him "I'm sure Trist will understand your feelings, whatever they are. If you're a friend to Trist, she'll always be there for you. I know this from experience."

"But what if she refuses?"

"What do you mean "refuse"? Trist will never refuse a gift, if it's a nice gift! Who would?"

"It's not the _flowers_ , no. What if she says she doesn't want to go on a date with me?"

There was that word again. What did it mean, and why would people act so strange because of it?

She had to resist a sudden urge to rub her temples. Maybe she had been reading too much about magic history that morning?

It was not in her nature to give out generic compliments or consolations, but by trial and error, if she said she did not know what a date was, Rumble would walk off without letting her help. And she wanted to help. She wanted to know what confused him so.

So she opted for the neutral path.

"If you don't ask her, you won't find out. If it matters that much for you to know the answer, then it's best to have courage to carry it out. At least then, it will be an improvement from the current anxiety, right?"

Rumble seemed to think the same.

"You're right, Lulu!" he said "somehow that made me feel better. I've got to ask her someday. Today's the day. Thanks, you're truly a wise Sorceress!"

Uh, what?

It was not Lulu to claim praise for what she did not even cause. She didn't know why Rumble was thanking her. In fact, she'd been the opposite of helpful. She was having no idea what just happened in the past thirty minutes of her life!

"Would you like to come into the house now?" she asked again.

"Nah, I'm good. Sorry to bother you, Lulu."

Then he jumped onto his robot (Tristy) and sat on top of it without another word.

* * *

Lulu went back into the house and returned to the book. She tried to concentrate on the history of techmaturgy (integration of magic and science) – the thing Rumble used for his suit, as she realized later, but she couldn't. Her mind was buzzing with questions. She did not really fancy the feeling of not knowing what others knew about. And when she could not make sense of something, she'd seek answers. That was the true way of the Fae Sorceress!

And whenever she wanted to seek answers, she'd ask Pix, because Pix knows many things.

"A crush?" asked the Fae curiously "what's that? Sounds painful to me."

Lulu looked up, frowning. It was kind of painful to look at them acting so awkward.

"So you don't know what a crush is?"

"Well, no. But if you ask what is happening to Satan…"

"His name is Teemo! That's not nice at all."

"I'm sure there are many in this world who would agree to that statement." Pix mumbled "Anyway, I may have a guess or two. Maybe he's attracted to your flat-mate."

"Attracted?"

"You know, that's what people do when they 'fall in love' – or so I heard."

Lulu's ears shot up.

"What do you mean 'fall in love'? Don't you just _love_ them in the first place?"

"Hey, don't ask me, I didn't come up with that expression."

"But how's that a bad thing?"

"It's not… exactly," answered Pix "that's what I'm interested in finding out. The stories of love that reached the Glade never quite made sense. At least, from what I'm aware of, it's common for people to be nervous around those they're attracted to."

"But that's still weird! Why are they afraid of professing love? Love is a good thing! You don't fuss out when you tell your mother you love her!"

"I actually don't have a mother. Faes don't breed that way, but I digress. Anyway, this is a different thing from familial love."

"Oh… I love Trist, too! And Mr. Vlad!"

"Your usage of love is quite liberal compared to the rest of the world. Under normal consensus, when you say you love someone other than your family, it means you love them romantically."

"Is romantic love different somehow? Don't you want to be around that person, and make them happy, thus you feel happy?"

"That happens, yes," said Pix "but love, in this particular form, may elicit more powerful responses."

"Like?"

"Possessiveness. Envy. Hate. Fights. Wars. Stuffs." Pix seemed to be smiling.

"But you said it was a good thing!"

"It is. It brings people together. It facilitates in the production of offspring, which keep humans from going extinct. The bond of love can be the strongest or the most fragile. In fact, in many cases, love is also the foundation of familial love."

"So it is good, _and_ it is bad? How so?"

"I don't know."

"…you don't."

Pix shook his head.

"Faes do not understand love the way human do. I told you, one of the most elusive human concepts for us Fae to grasp is their definition of love. Love, to them, is a special bond. They literally do everything in the name of love. You can even say that it is a force that governs anyone's action. Whether it is another person or an object, or even oneself, all men must love."

Lulu sat still, contemplating what she just heard.

"If you don't understand how it works, how do you know it exists?"

"I don't know. Maybe you're just supposed to _know."_

"It still doesn't explain why you should be so anxious."

"Well, there are cases where attraction isn't mutual. The one you love may not love you back. And by professing love, you are making yourself vulnerable to someone. You're expecting affection from someone who previously had few bonds to you. You're gonna trust them. And when you devote so much to such confession, and are told that those feelings aren't reciprocated… well, it is reasonable to be shocked."

(No, it's cute to be shy and nervous.)

(if you know an ounce of how terrifying love can be, you really should fear for your life.)

"In short, it is something incomprehensible, uncontrollable, and has to be mutual to work? That's too complicated for me."

Pix snorted "go figure."

Lulu, having been satisfactory unsatisfied (that is, she's unsatisfied with the answers, but satisfied that she got them… yeah I should quit English), got off the couch and started making lunch. Hmm, what would she make? She rummaged the pantry for a few seconds before deciding to make a batch of gratin and chocolate pudding. The mystery of love was temporarily pushed out of her mind as she began cooking.

After she had lit the oven and put the batch inside, her mind went back to the current situation at hand.

"Do you think Trist likes them too?"

"How do I know that? You'd know more about humans than I do."

Lulu shrugged.

"I just don't want them to be sad." She said. They'd tried so hard to convey their emotions, and like Pix said, getting rejected would be painful. "Oh wait, maybe Trist can like both of them! So they won't have to be sad."

"I… don't think that's how it works, Lulu…"

The ground suddenly rumbled (not intentional), distracting the duo from their debate. Rumble's mechanical armor-robot was moving again. Lulu could hear the machine coming to life, engines running and…

Everything shook.

She rushed outside after the shockwave ended.

"Rumble!" she called, but stopped short as she saw what happened. A line of blazing rockets was seemingly dropped unceremoniously onto the ground, inches away from a very displeased Teemo.

"Guys!" said Lulu "what happened? What are you doing?"

They didn't seem to hear what she had said. The two stared at each other, as if mutually coming to a drastic conclusion without any words exchanged.

"Only one of us can, Teemo," said Rumble.

"So it is."

"Guys!" Lulu tried again, having the smallest feeling they were gonna fight. Rumble had started his flamespitter. The heat made Lulu flinch. She watched helplessly as the two yordles clashed, darts and flames flying everywhere.

A familiar voice was snickering behind her back.

"Ah, love rivals," the voice remarked "cute, isn't it?"

Lulu's eyes narrowed.

"Ziggs," she said disapprovingly, turning to glare at the hexplosive expert "what did you do?"

"Oh, hi there, Lulu," Ziggs gave her the usual Cheshire grin. A small bomb was in his hand – the kind that pushes people away without any damage – Lulu realized "lovely day for a little rivalry, don't you think?"

"They're fighting!"

"So they are!" said Ziggs, seemingly deriving a lot of fun as darts and flames flew about "It's fun, isn't it?"

"No! A giant mechanical robot is fighting a little scout with a shooting dart!" Lulu exclaimed. Ziggs only doubled over with laughter. "This is not fun! What did you do?"

Ziggs was cackling uncontrollably.

"Of course I did not do anything. I happened to, ah, have dropped one of my satchels. Teemo just _accidentally_ stepped on it, which sent him slipping and throwing the pie onto our friend Rum," he grinned "Rum, being the trigger finger, released his rocket fury. There you go, my dear Sorceress, you're finally caught up! Sit back and enjoy!"

Indeed, Lulu could see some remains of a delicious-looking pie on Rumble's fur. She turned around to reprimand the bomb master.

"That's really not nice."

"But it's fun!"

They both jumped out of the way as an electrical harpoon charged towards their position. The projectile stabbed into the ground, breaking one of Tristana's tree pots.

Ziggs smiled a little nervously.

"Maybe it's a _bit_ dangerous too?"

Some houses' roofs had caught fire. The citizens of Bandle began pouring out the streets, utterly confused and anxious of the chaos outside their doors. Upon realizing what it actually was, all of them began getting out of dodge as soon as possible.

"Okay, it's pretty dangerous," he admitted "but that's what makes it fun, right?"

Lulu sighed heavily. She was suddenly craving to return to her book.

"Stay here," she ordered sternly.

"Wouldn't dare to miss the fun," said Ziggs, flashing a toothy grin.

The Fae Sorceress took off on her wand, the spell Whimsy fluttering behind her back. It took her and Pix a while to contain and extinguish all the flames. Meanwhile, the two participants of the catfight still fought on, unaware of the damage they'd caused to public and civilian properties. After all the flames had been done away with, her attention turned to the two combatants. She was unsure how to approach them, however. She could knock one of them airborne, no doubt, but making anyone of them enormous wouldn't go well in her opinion. Maybe she could polymorph both of them at the same time?

Before she could make up her mind, a loud, irritated Tristana bellowed.

" _ **What do you think you're doing?!"**_

As abruptly as it'd started, the fight stopped.

Lulu and Pix both sighed in relief.

Ziggs wasn't bothering hiding his laughter.

Teemo and Rumble resumed their odd and awkward composure again, with a touch of shame this time.

"This is very irresponsible! How can you two _fight_ in the middle of the town? Look at what you've done! I expected both of you to know better!"

"But he threw a pie at me!" Rumble protested.

"He threw his rocket range at me! I almost died."

Tristana groaned.

"And you," she said, turning to face the hexplosive specialist, who had his hands in the air, grinning confidently "I know you did something. Don't you dare get away this time."

"How's it going, Tristy?" Ziggs greeted.

Tristana smacked the bomber on the head before handing out her verdict.

"All three of you, you're gonna have to clean up your mess," Tristana announced "and that's final!"

The three mismatched yordles groaned.

The Bandle Gunner turned to her flat-mate, who now had descended from the rooftop, and her voice softened.

"Thanks Lulu," she barely held back her sigh "you helped me there. Everyone, you can come back to your houses now! And you three - begin cleaning up the streets."

"Aye, ma'am," said Ziggs lazily, getting up from where he was sitting.

"Come on, let's have lunch." At that exact moment, the oven chimed. At least lunch didn't go wrong that day.

"Can't Lulu just whip out her wand and fix this in one fell swoop?" Ziggs complained.

Lulu grinned mischievously at the hexplosive specialist. She put a hand on his shoulder and spoke, in a cheery voice.

"But that won't be _fun_ , will it?"

* * *

"Those idiots," Tristana mumbled, leaning Boomer onto its usual spot on the wall. Lulu had taken out the gratin and was placing it on the table. Tristana hopped onto her chair and eagerly took a generous portion from the pan.

Lulu began eating as well.

"It's great having you a flat-mate," Tristana grinned "your cooking is delicious! And I'm always hungry after work. You should stay home more often, you know. I can always do with more delicious food!"

The Sorceress smiled happily.

"Sure. Staying home seems fun as well. I never knew you had that many visitors a day."

"Oh… haha…" Tristana giggled nervously. Lulu did not miss that subtle hint. Oh…

"Did you know?"

Tristana sighed.

"More or less, yeah," she replied, taking another bite off her dish "they are pretty darn obvious about it."

"And?"

The indomitable Bandle Gunner seemed… baffled.

"I… uh, don't know. It's not that I don't like them, I just… it's really…"

"Do you like either of them?"

Tristana blushed slightly.

"I'm not really sure…"

"Or maybe you like both of them!"

"Look, I don't know, okay! It's really frustrating, and they're not helping!"

Lulu nodded. "Yeah, I can pretty much see that. What's a date?"

"What, you don't know what a date is? How did you get them to tell you then?"

Lulu shrugged. People just liked to tell her things.

"Well, a date is… an appointment, I guess, with someone you like. You two spend time together doing whatever you like, getting to know each other and stuffs."

"So they just want to hang out with you?" Lulu raised an eyebrow "that's fairly simple, right? You don't really mind that."

"It's not just… hanging out. Dating is a tad different… it is more personal and _special._ I can't really explain it, but it's different from going out with someone you consider a friend."

Lulu's face was simply blank. She couldn't make any sense out of this whatsoever!

From the outside, Rumble's voice could be heard.

"Get that thing off me, you bombing squirrel!"

The two girls glanced out the door warily.

Perhaps having them work together was not such a good idea.

"Those idiots," Tristana groaned, sitting up and coming out to break off an incoming catfight once again.

* * *

In the end, Tristana successfully made them clean up the "battlefield". They only had to cleam up the streets, removing several Equalizers and mushrooms traps littered on the ground (plus the occasional _surprises_ from Ziggs). Lulu had already helped them fix damages to civilian property, a process which rendered the young sorceress quite exhausted. The day ended pretty much peacefully – both Rumble and Teemo were worn out with the manual trap removal, since Rumble refused to let Tristy… ahem, Junkyard Titan just squash out all of Teemo's mushrooms ( _there's no way I'll let my baby get stained with such a thing!)._ Only Ziggs was still pretty energetic at the end of the day – Lulu guessed he must have found ways to avoid doing as much work as possible, the sly one he was. He would never learn.

All in all, the day ended as well as it could. Since it was too late, Ziggs had to stay the night at Bandle, and Tristana had to ensure that he stayed as far away from the other two as possible.

"Haiz," Tristana sighed loudly for the umpteenth time of the day "it's always a party with those two."

Although she was pretty tired, Lulu was a bit sad that both Teemo and Rumble didn't have a chance to confess. They seemed to have worked really hard getting their courage up. Now they'd have to start all over again.

Tristana climbed up her bunk bed.

"Goodnight, Lulu."

"Night, Trist," Lulu replied.

The Bandle Gunner fell asleep almost immediately. Lulu, though fatigued, could not sleep that easily.

She didn't understand.

What is love?

Love is… shyness, nervousness, anxiety. It is blushing, heartbeat quickening. It is trying to give the one you love flowers or pies. It is getting into a (small) (totally not dangerous) fight with another person who also likes the same person you do. It is trying to get someone to hang out with you in the special way that is totally made harder than just casually going out together.

Lulu frowned. That did not make sense, at all.

Love is baffling. Love is unpredictable. Love is destructive.

Love is really strange.

Lulu yawned.

She was feeling tired. She would sleep. And tomorrow, she'd find out more about "love", by the second most efficient way to find answers – ask the people.

Sorry, Trist. Tomorrow wouldn't be stay-at-home day.

And the purple yordle drifted off, her last thoughts were reminder to prepare some food for her flat-mate before setting out for her journey the next day.

(To be continued)

* * *

Part 2: Love in Runeterra is coming soon™.

Initially I wanted to do something fun for the Teemo-Tristana-Rumble supposed triangle. Throw Lulu into the mix and you have my wonders about the nature of romantic relationships. Yeah, I've never been in a relationship before, as you can obviously tell.

On a related note, happy April Fools! In case you have no balls to confess to your crush, 1/4 is your save! Go out there and confess/troll the person you're romantically interested in.


	10. Dream

Hey guys, I'm back from my hiatus. Yeah, this is probably not what you are expecting. I owe you the second part of "What is love?" that no one deserves and no one needs. Sorry about that, the piece turned out to be much more cringey that what I fathomed, so I had to _rework_ it a bit. Meanwhile, there's this instead.

Warning: This is a dream sequence. A crappy dream sequence. Thanks for reading (this warning)!

 **Dream**

* * *

"Shen?"

He opened his eyes. What was this?

He looked around, and realized that he was somehow his younger self – he was shorter, and his palms less scarred. Surrounding him was the once familiar, nostalgic scenery of his childhood – the old Kinkou Temple, in peace and tranquility, with gentle sunshine bathing the yards and murmuring voices of the young disciples. He blinked. Everything was so real.

"Shen?" the voice asked again. It was another voice he recognized instantly – the voice he didn't know he secretly craved to hear.

Zed was standing at arm-length to him (he was so close) in his child form. He was yet indomitably tall and frightening as his adult self, but everything else was almost a carbon copy: tousled black hair, bright golden eyes, and easygoing yet observant disposition. Zed was grinning widely, carefree and innocent. It evoked a small pain within Shen's chest – how could the boy standing in front of him be the cold blooded man who murdered his father?

"I was looking for you," said Zed, unaware of who he was actually speaking to "I just asked Master Kusho, and he said we can go fishing by the water fall – just 'be careful'." The boy quoted, mimicking the Master's usual upright tone. "Which we will, right?"

That was when Shen realized it was all a dream.

It was a strange feeling, knowing that he was dreaming. He looked around in confusion again – should one not wake up, when they realized what they saw was simply nonexistent?

No such luck, then.

Why would he dream of _this?_ He wondered, and then brushed the question off – of course he would. He regarded this period the happiest in his life, which ended in nothing but betrayal. People often dreamed of things like that, right?

(He had not had dreams for a long time.)

"Shen, are you alright?" asked Zed, unadulterated concern in his voice "if you don't feel well, perhaps we can put off fishing."

He felt sick. He felt angry.

Had it been the old days, he'd gladly accept Zed's invitation. They'd probably have a hell of a good time, chatting while waiting for a fish to get baited. Then, if Zed had the evening free, he'd be treated to a heavenly meal featuring what they'd got their hands on, which was several times better than the standard meal served down the cafeteria.

But times had changed.

Zed had betrayed him.

Every single memory with him had been painted with betrayal. Shen would not look at him with any fondness. This boy betrayed them. His mind did not register that this Zed probably knew nothing of what he'd do – he was simply an innocent boy. Shen did not care.

It was his dream, after all – he thought selfishly. Who cared what Zed felt? He was not real – none of this was real. He could do whatever he wanted in his dream.

"No," he said harshly, giving into his emotions – anger, fear, hate. It flew through him like a storm and washed his common sense away, and he welcomed it. "I don't care what you want. Go away!"

"Shen?" asked Zed, appalled. Was he hurt? Shen couldn't tell. He could care less.

"You betrayed us!" he cried "you betrayed _me!"_ he accused angrily. It felt… surprisingly good, admitting his true emotions "Father shouldn't have saved you. You never deserved it. Get lost, before I have to make you!"

He might have dashed at Zed, but realized that he was without a weapon. A vile thought occurred to him – what if he could exact his vengeance here, if he could strangle Zed with his own hands? How would that have felt? It was his dream, right?

"Shen, what's wrong? What are you talking about? Why are…" the boy reached out with his hand, but Shen forcefully pushed him away.

"You betrayed everyone! For your selfish cause, you killed many students! You killed my father!"

He yelled, and his hate intensified.

"I hate you!"

When he woke up, he'd probably deny everything. But not in his dream – he'd live with his true self in his dream. He hated Zed. That'd never change.

His bottled up anger began to subside, and Shen realized Zed had not spoken a single word. He caught his breath and looked at his enemy. The latter had wisely taken a step back, far from his reach. Shen expected him to be outraged, indignant, or better, hurt. Instead, his face was simply… indifferent. It only served to anger him more – to be fair, anything Zed did would do that.

Shen'd failed to notice, that there were so many things behind those eyes.

Then, Zed vanished from his sight.

* * *

The dream did not end there.

After the encounter with Zed, things just progressed like the old times. Time must work differently within dreams, for he seemed to be living in his past self's life, falling in line with the training, studying, and playing routine of his childhood. Everything was the same, except for Zed. He could not be seen anywhere within the Temple. He did not attend classes, trainings, nor could he be found at the library, or his usual 'refuge' in the woods or even his own room (which was _their_ room _,_ for they shared one as children). At first, it didn't bother Shen; in fact he was quite happy with this. Zed had been got rid of from his dream. He could enjoy the happy, carefree days of childhood without the constant reminder of Zed's betrayal.

For a short while, it was fine, until he realized his childhood was so happy and memorable because Zed was a part of it. Zed was a constant his life. They'd been inseparable as children. And Shen was reminded of that absence, every second since the moment he realized this fact. Without Zed, everything seemed so empty.

It'd not do, too, if everyone around him constantly asked where Zed went.

Shen feigned ignorance. He truly did not know where he was – he must've been deleted from his dream. But then, why would everyone still remember him?

He tried to talk to others, too, but it never sat right with him. He just couldn't hold conversations, or engage in usual activities with any other disciple at length, because he was the grand master's son. Only Zed had talked and played with him.

"Zed did not go to class today?"

He shook his head. The desk behind him was still empty.

"That's so strange! He loves math. Thought I wonder how he could have."

"Shen, you really don't know where he is? You're always with him."

That statement sat uncomfortably with him. It did not evoke the slightest sense of indignation – his anger had died down quite a while ago. He sat with his head down, an unnatural weight in his chest. Why was he feeling this way? Did he not claim he hated Zed?

Without Zed, there was no one by his side. There would be no more training and playing in the woods. There would be no adventures inside and outside the Temple. There would be no board games at night. There would be no more sneaking up an attic and eating oden while a blizzard howled outside…

Without him, what was even meaningful in this reality?

Of course, he told himself, things were meaningful. His father was alive. His friends and fellows were alive. The order remained. For all of that, he could exchange Zed. He could…

His eyes turned to the opposite desk in his room and sighed, his breath shaking.

He was that happy because Zed was his friend.

Shen laughed at his own emotions. He hated Zed, but now he missed him?

He could almost imagine Zed occupying the other desk, with his back turned to him, immersed in some scrolls even he could not feign interest. He'd lean back into his chair, almost rocking it back and forth, with his feet on the table and his eyes fixed on the page. When he blinked, reality hit him again. Zed was not there.

Zed was gone.

(Because you drove him away)

It was not fair. That Zed was still a child – the boy he had loved. And he ruined it, with his temper and unjust anger. He felt guilty and painful at this revelation. He could've enjoyed a truly good, lighthearted dream with the Zed he knew…

He shot up from his chair. That was right. Zed was only a child. He must have been upset and angry at Shen - that was why he was avoiding him. Zed was really good at hiding, far better than his own peers. Only Shen was able to find him.

Well, he was about to do so now.

He remembered how Zed had looked before his disappearance – indifferent, neutral. That was not a face he'd associate with Zed. Why would he look that way?

He'd find Zed. He must be sulking in a corner somewhere. He'd apologize to him. Zed would forgive him. He would forgive him… right?

* * *

The sun had begun to set over the horizon. Shen's steps faltered. He caught his breath. Zed was nowhere to be found. No matter where he had looked, he seemed to have vanished all together. The thought left him a little hollow inside. Why would he feel this… empty?

 _It is just a dream,_ Shen told himself, biting his lips, _it will be over soon._

Yet the sense of dread did not escape him. Shen exhaled. Why?

Zed was not here.

Zed was gone.

Had it not always been so for the past five years? If so, why only then, in a dream, did it hurt so much?

Without Zed…

"Shen," he heard another familiar voice – tranquil, calm, and almost burst into tears "what are you looking for?"

Father!

He turned around immediately and ran into his arms.

Master Kusho raised an eyebrow at this sudden display of emotions. He put a hand on Shen's shoulders.

"What's wrong? Have you been fighting with Zed?"

"…yes, sir."

"Are you looking for him?" asked Master Kusho, crouching down his eye level.

He nodded.

"Then you'll have no luck. I cannot sense the boy's aura anywhere within the Temple. He must have left the Temple's grounds. I heard he was gone for two days now."

His father said worriedly. Seeing him like that sparked indignation within his heart - his father was worried about the person who had killed him. All of his anger resurfaced, and he was sure his father didn't miss it.

"You two have never fought each other this severely," the master mused "you are angry, my boy. Come, tell me – what happened?"

Shen looked into his father's eyes – blue, like his own. He could not lie to him. The Eye would never be fooled.

"He killed you, father!"

So he told Master Kusho everything – about how he and everything were only a dream, that in reality Zed had betrayed the Kinkou and killed him, and that Shen had let off his anger onto this dream's Zed, thus resulting in his disappearance.

"It's only a dream," he insisted "there's nothing to be worried about."

Master Kusho regarded him with an appreciative gaze. He seemed thoughtful. Only then did Shen realize that it was kind of a dumb idea.

"I know it's hard to believe…"

"I believe you, Shen."

He blinked.

"You do?"

"Yes."

"But…"

"You tell the truth. If I currently am just a part of your imagination, I must accept it as it is," said Kusho wisely "that does not mean I am not who I am, right, Shen?"

He frowned a little. Philosophy was not his strong suit.

"You're angry because of what Zed had done in the real world," Kusho continued calmly "do you hate him?"

"Yes," he answered fiercely. Seeing his father only brought up the truth – the bitter, painful truth.

Zed was not worth it. Had they never met, had he not existed in their lives, his father would still be alive.

"Then why are you seeking him?"

He looked down, guiltily.

"Because without him, everything was not the same. Without him, I was not the same."

He turned his head up again.

"But this is all a dream, father! The Zed within this dream is not the Zed outside. He killed you, along with many others of us."

Kusho nodded.

"I heard you, Shen."

"Then why are you so calm about this?"

"I am in your mind, Shen," he replied with a small smile "I do what you expect me to do."

Despite the tension, Shen laughed. Indeed, that would be his father's reaction, to even the most ridiculous of tales.

Kusho took a deep breath.

"Do you know why, Shen?"

"Why?"

"Why did he kill me?"

"He wanted the forbidden techniques in the Box. He wanted to satisfy his craving for power…"

"You truly believe this is the case, Shen?"

"That's what happened! You banished him for using the forbidden arts. He built an army of his own and came back to reclaim it. He killed many of us for such thing."

Kusho was still staring at him thoughtfully. He was neither angry nor upset. He only seemed a bit wistful.

"Is that what he told you?"

Shen frowned.

"I don't have to be told. I saw it."

"You've not spoken to him, then?"

"Why would I even want to speak to him?"

Kusho shook his head.

"Perhaps the man I truly was in real life was different from the one in your mind," he said. After a short pause, he continued "only when you've let your anger go, you began to miss him, correct?"

Shen nodded hesitantly.

"Do you really hate him now, Shen?"

Shen sighed.

"I…"

"Hate is a powerful word, Shen. When you've hated someone, you've chosen to see him incompletely. You've chosen to see only the vilest thing from him. If you hate him, then you've already lost him…"

"I lost him."

"Yes, on your own accord."

"Father!"

"Listen to me, Shen. Have you ever truly thought about the reason he did it? Do you really believe that the boy you grew up with did something like that, for a reason as mundane as power?"

"People do change, father. That's why I…"

"That's why I told you you'd already lost him. You no longer cared what drove his resolve. All you saw was the betrayal he committed, not the reason he did it. You've not even made an attempt to know his feelings. Then why are you surprised he's not part of your dream anymore? He no longer matters to you."

"That's not true!"

"Why?"

He tried to answer, yet could not find a suitable one. His father (or was that himself?) was right. Not once did he think of Zed's feelings during the last five years. He only assumed that Zed had changed – that he didn't matter to him anymore.

Was it, in fact, the opposite?

"Zed is a surprisingly sensitive individual," his father was saying "he sees a lot, and feels a lot, yet expresses little. He's driven by a strong sense to do what is just and right. If I were you, Shen, I'd not turn my back on him. I would want to know why he chose what he did. Because I am sure that, if he had done such a thing, he would blame himself even more than you do."

…

This was wrong.

Everything was wrong.

It was true that he never strived to understand his friend anymore.

How did Zed spend his past five years? Was it painful? Was it lonely? Did he achieve what he wanted?

What was left of him?

How could he have claimed he cared about him, when he could not have brought himself to ask these questions?

It hurt. It truly hurt.

Shen felt his father's hand reaching up and cleaning his tears. He sobbed.

"You are not without fault, Shen. It's important that you recognize them." His father sighed "perhaps the real I had the same flaw – that must be why I drove him away. Do not make the same mistake."

"But… what if he had truly changed?"

"Men never truly change in nature. What changes is the way they regard themselves. Zed must think that he is a terrible person. He must've accepted it as the truth. Does that mean he's truly a terrible person? No."

Master Kusho stood up.

"If, against all odds, he has truly changed, then you know what must be done. But mourn him, as a friend. Show him that you've not abandoned him, even up until the end. You would know what abandonment would do to him, wouldn't you?"

 _Whatever happens, I will always be here._

He had failed Zed.

"Do you think… I can?"

"If he has truly never been gone, then of course," his father smiled "I can't say it will be easy. It's been five years of him in solitude. Yet if you do not reach out, you will never know what you have lost."

Shen stood up as well, drying his eyes.

"Think about it, Shen. You don't have to forgive him right away. But do not give up on him. He needs it, as you do. You know this as well. After all, this is your dream, is it not?"

* * *

Shen was standing in his room again. Everything his father said seemed a burden in his chest. But he could not deny it now. He had to face it. He had to try to understand.

He had given up on Zed. That was why he'd lost him.

 _But he'd changed!_ He reasoned. _He's become something else: cruel, coldblooded, inhuman…_

Did Zed really not matter to him anymore?

Shen held his head in his hands.

It hurt.

He'd never thought about it, but… had Zed truly been misunderstood, he would have accepted it.

Zed had always been quiet and lonesome, despite how enthusiastic and carefree he might seem. Only Shen could talk at length with him. He'd never asked for something out of his own volition. He would do everything he saw necessary himself. If he wanted to have good food, he would learn to cook. If he hated the cold, he would study the best way to set up a heating system himself. Shen couldn't recall a moment Zed had _actively_ asked for unconditional help. It would always be an _exchange_. Zed would not bother anyone with his problems. He would deal with it himself.

Shen smiled painfully. How had he never taken this into account before?

Zed expressed love by making those important to him think as little of him as possible – of his problems, that is. He was extremely good at doing so, that Shen never wondered twice. They never wondered twice.

He walked over the Zed's desk, looking at every little item the young boy had owned. Their owner was still missing.

If he wanted to see Zed now, would he come back? Would he let him say sorry?

He had to wake up. This dream had been too much.

He looked back at his futon. Somehow, in a dream, he wanted to sleep.

Maybe if he had slept in a dream, he would wake up in the real world.

* * *

When Shen opened his eyes, it was the middle of the night.

He was still dreaming. This accursed dream would not let him go.

What kind of persistent dream was this?

Something moved. He shot up, looking at the source of the noise almost too excitedly.

"Zed?"

He stood, frozen in horror.

What met his eyes was Zed, yet wasn't Zed.

The boy lay lifelessly, leaning on the window pane. Sakura was blooming from his flesh, his blood turning into plants. Zed's golden eyes were lifeless and blank.

Shen shivered. He couldn't place exactly what he was feeling. He only knew it was the worst feeling in the world, even more so than what he had felt the night his father died.

"Zed!" he cried, dashing towards him. He was so cold… so cold. This was not Zed… this was not…

Why?

Were they destined to be apart?

"Zed, I'm sorry," he cried, holding his friend's lifeless body tightly, as if the act could somehow reanimate him "I'm so sorry! I loved you!"

Flowers continued to sprawl out from his body, against every of Shen's pleas.

"Please! No! Don't leave me!"

It was futile. He was already gone.

He'd already been killed… by the Golden Demon?

Shen couldn't even care. He only knew that Zed had died. He was truly lost forever… forever…

"I love you…" he whispered weakly, and everything faded to black.

* * *

Shen's eyes snapped open. He sat up abruptly, hyperventilating. It hit him that he was in his current room, and he let out a sigh.

It was a dream. It was only a dream.

Yet… even in a dream, even when he was perfectly aware of the fact, it had hurt. Seeing Zed dead hurt.

What would he have to do?

He could still recall the coldness of Zed's skin, as he had held onto him in his dream. It made him shudder. Zed would always be alive.

He could not hate Zed anymore. He never could have, truly.

None of this was right.

The aftermath of the dream still hinged uncomfortably in his chest. Something was wrong, deadly wrong. He shivered at the thought of Khada Jhin. It was… only a metaphor was it not? The Golden Demon couldn't have possibly escaped.

He had to see Zed. He had to tell him.

 _Please wait for me. You have to._

* * *

I hope I made it believable at least dream wise. Yeah who am I kidding of course not. Well peace.


End file.
